TALK ABOUT TOWN.

Samoa Times and South Sea Gazette, Volume 2, Issue 78, 29 March 1879, Page 2

TALK ABOUT TOWN.

" There's n duel nmang ye tukiu' notes, Ami t'uitli he'll iiront them," Ireland's Patron Saint. The great Irish holiday, St. Patrick's Day, has once more come and gone, leaving, as a memento, the average number of empty pockets, sore bones, and broken heads. For your " rale Micky " feels convinced that it is as incumbent upon him to get gloriously drunk on this day [ for his saint's sake, even though he doesn't touch another " dhrop av the crathur " for tho remainder of the year, as it is to go to mass or perform any other of his religious duties. Just as it ; is necessary for him to get drunk, so he thinks, the day would not be appropriately brought to a olose without a " muss " and a liberal and indiscriminate flourish. J jug of shillelahs, when somebody's head is bound to come to grisf, whilo tho rest of tho rovolors rise " saddor if not wiser men, on the morrow morn." Byron says, " Get very drunk ; and when You wake with headache, you shall sco what then." Thousands of Irishmen took this advioo on the 17th of this month; and though many of them may yet bo " suffering a recovery," they will repeat tho same on the 17th of March lN.so, as sure as they live mid St. Patrick's day comes round again. Historians tell us that St Patrick was a native of Cornwall, England, and born in the year 977. His zeal prompted him to oross the ohanuol for tho conversion of the Irish, in which he had great success, and established there ' a number of monasteries. Ho also founded a enthodral at Armagh, and died j there in the year *(iO. Mis works, or those which pass under his name, were published by Sir James Ware, at Lou-

don, in hi'iv He also banished nil the frogs, toads, and snakes froui the Green Isle, and ou his death, for these and other services rendered, was unanimously acknowledged as the patron saint of the country. There is one very importaut matter which I cannot find touched upon >y any of his chroniclers, and that is Patrick's surname. He must have had a father surely, and that father must have had a name even in those early times. lie wasn't boru a saint, nor was he christened St. or even spoken of by that name until after his death. Again, it is said that he was born in Cornwall; but " Patrick " is a very unlikely name to I* given to a native of that county. Furthermore, I cannot find any mention of his ever coming over to Samoa, though, from the absence of toads and frogs, and venomous snakes, it is evident to my mind that ho paid a flying visit here at some period of his eighty-three years of life. For these reasons I look on his historians as unmitigated humbugs ; though certainly, when we consider that it is 1410 years ago since his saintship " shuffled off this mortal coil" tho whole subject is not of vital importance. Your characteristic Irishman simply accepts the day,—without any reference to historians or facts,—as one on which ho may ligitimately get drunk and use his shillelah on the heads of his fellow-countrymen ; and as he evidently enjoys the sjiort I hope he may live to see the return of many more anniversaries of St. Patrick's Day, with no more serious result than a heavy aching head on the morrow.

The Geographer Abroad, Considering the large number of vcsselsfcrading amongst the islands of the South Pacific from the port of Auckland the ignorance amongst all classes of the community {there of the geographical positions of the principal islands \s really astonishing. When 1 was in Auckland some few months ago I was particularly struck with this fact; and more especially of the absence of any definite ideas of the relative positions of the three groups of the Friendly Islands and of the Samoan group, amongst people who have actually business relations with these places In reading the annual report of the committee of the Auckland Institute 1 find that this august and presumably learned body are in a state of fog as to the geographical .position of Vavau. In enumerating the list of contributions for the past year to the Institute's Museum, the report says:— "1. Mammalia. The only additions in this doss are an interesting collection of bats, made by Mr. Parsons, in the Friendly Islands." So far so good. Mr. Parsons resides in Vavau, But in the very next paragraph,—" 2. Birds."—the report says that " Mr. Parsons has presented (il skins, all obtained on the island of Vavau, one of the Sarnoan group." This extraordinary statement was read to the subscribers to the Institute at the annual general meeting, and published in the Auckland daily papers, and the Weekly News. What are wo to suppose from this contradictory statement ? That Vavau is one of the Friendly Islands, and that they are part of the Samoan group; or that when Air. Parsons sent the hats Vavau was one of the Friendly Islands, but before that gentleman commenced his collection of bird skins Vavau ceceded, and drifting bodily for three hundred miles in a north-north-east direction joined the Samoan group ? I opine that the most necessary and useful contribution which could hj) made to this Institute would he a good large chart of this section of the South Pacific. The subscribers would then be able to see for themselves thot Vavau is one of the Friendly,—or more properly speaking, in these days, Tonga Islands; and that Samoa is an entirely distinct group, lying over three hundred miles to the north-north-cast of Vuvau, four hundred miles from Haabai, and a little over five hundred from Tongatnlm, the throe groups composing the Friendly, or Tonga Islands. When such errors are published by an important and leading sooiety like the Auckland Institute, the erroneous ideas entertained in that city aud elsewhere in the colonies, of the islands in the South Pacifio is scarcely to he wondered at.

Bound For The States! The Auckland Weekly News of the IBth January, Bays that i'the departure of the late American Consul, Colonel ltosouvelt, was unexpected, and his neighbours and frionds wero unaware of his intended trip to San Francisco. It was understood that Mrs. Uosenvelt was about to visit the States, and the gallant colonel led those around him on the wharf to believo that he was only going down the harbour, no doubt, like all devoted husbands, anxious for the society of his charming wife to the last moment. He asked Captain Burgess for a passage baok in tho pilot boat, which was agreed to; but when Captain Burgess jumped into his boat off the reef, tho colonel was enjoying himself in the smoking-room of the City of New York, wd when informed that tho pilot was waiting for him, he looked ovor the sido of tho vessel and kissing his hand to the occupants of the pilot boat said, 'Not this timo, captain, lam bound for tho States.' And that was the last that was seen of Colonel Uosenvelt." _ That was a smart, shrewd •' Yankee notion," and puts friend Consul Griffin's stylo of oxit completely in the shade for the uniouoness of its design, and completeness of execution. CVBII™ [Wo havo boon compelled to hold ovor till our next, Cyril's "Talk " on A Novel Hoad Party—The Ijntn H. B. Stonidalo —From Samoa to Chili—A Poetical Peeler—Our Poet Lauroat—A "Star" Uomanecr.—Ed. S. T.J