TALK ABOUT TOWN.

Samoa Times and South Sea Gazette, Volume 2, Issue 73, 22 February 1879, Page 2

TALK ABOUT TOWN.

" There'll a ehiol ainong ye tnkin' notes, And faith he'll nrent them." Looked at in a proper light, the replies of the three Foreign Consuls to the Tnimua as to whether they would advise the Tniniua to avail themselves of the services of a certain American gentleman at present residing in Apia, arc both characteristic and instructive. The representative cf his Imperial Germanic Majesty gavo his reply in a manner that, while it was courteous, left no room for the slightest doubt as to his meaning. He said it was not necessary for them to have, at present, any foreigners in their Government. The gentleman, whom thev referred to was a very nice gentleman, but they were not yet far enough advanced to need more advice and assistance than the Consuls could give thoin. Moreover, if they had a foreigner in their Government he might bring them into trouble as did Steinberger. I think that is plain enough even for a Samoan to understand. The Lion, on being appealed to, said he had no treaty with .Samoa, and it was therefore not his business to advise them in the matter. With a civil growl at having had his slumbers disturbed by a matter which did not interest him, at that stage at anynite, he curled up his tail and went off to sleep again. The American Eagle, who is suffering from the hot weather, pathetically replied that las Government had recognised Samoa as a free and independent nation; that they were free to declare war or make peace, and take ono or fifty foreigners into their Government if they eho.se. In this case he did not see his way elenr to advise them, for if he did, and trouble arose out of it, he would bo blamed for it, therefore he did not wish to accept the responsibility. The Eagle was then observed to faintly flutter his wings and subside into his normal apathetic state. In the face of the opinions of these Consuls, and the fact that the majority of the Taimua and Faipulo arc unfavourable to the admission of a foreigner into their Government, I'm nfmid that the chances of the America l gentleman referred to of occupying tho position of premier or adviser to the Sanion Government are simply—nil. Theodor August Ludwig Weber, Esq., his Imperial Germanic Majesty's Consul for Tonga and Samoa, on the principle that practice makes perfect, ought soon to become quite an adept of the first water in the art of making treaties wiLli great kanaka nations. The one just concluded with Samoa may bo looked upon as a master-piece of art, ami will surely be the means of calling the Consul home to receive the ( Irder of the Red Eagle, or something else, as a tribute to his wonderful diplomatic ability, from a grateful Emperor, and a loving and admiring country. The Germans have undoubtedly the best of it in this treaty; though it may be something after the principle upon whioh Artemus Wind ran his show. He hod a placard at the door of his showtent, its follows:—"La-'ies and Gentlemen,—You can't come in without paying, hut you can pay without coming in; °I can't say anything fairer than that!" The. first live articles of this treaty are, with a few clerical exceptions, similar to the Tonga Treaty of 1870 ; and on the whole is unmistakcably of more importance to the German;—thfl firm of Messrs. Julian Cinsar Godcfl'ioy and Son in jurticular—than the Tonga agreement. Truly is this firm deeply indebted to their manager in these seas, for the material niil lie has more than once rendered them in his ollicial capacity of Consul. There is one thing, however, which I can't help remarking, as comparing pleasantly and favourably with the Tonga Treaty." The Samoan Treaty, unlike •that of Tonga, was drafted, agreed to and signed without it licing neoessnry to brinf; to bear the influence of the English resident missionary, as one of the plenipotentiaries on the native side.

The coat-of-arms at the British Consulate looks exceedingly well, and refecty great credit ii]H>n the artist—Mr. McTlhemiy—more especially as ho is un American. I say " more esjiecially as he is an American," because I know that it is not an easy matter for an English painter to give tho proper expression to Mr. Ix<o; thereforo how much, more is it to an an American who goes in for eagles ami doesn't care ton conte if people sometimes mistake thorn for vultures! The onlv fault—and perhaps it isn't a fault aftJr all—l lmvo to find with Mr. Mellhenny's delineation of the British Lion is that tho expression of his countenance is a little tou benevolent and grandmotherly looking. But perhaps he is doing a quiet smile over the little events which aro taking placo around him horn; or he is pleasantly ruminating over his latest acquisition,—Cyprus and h«r wines. [The nbore wn« unavoidably rrwlcd out of last week's issue, -Ld. S. 'i'.J

I was rather surprised fo nee the announcement in last week's issue of the Times that the Taimua and Faipulo had agreed to accept the services of General Bartlett as their adviser in the making of laws. 1 understood the position of the Government to Ik- something like this: That there was a large section who were strongly against the admission of the General, and the remainder did not care for him much, but as ho oame in a meaMjro accredited from Steinlierger they were afraid to refuse him point blank, an. I were just trying to tire him out. But it was evident that he was not easily to be shelved iii that manner. He had already waited on tins will of these halfdrcsaed, half-civilised kanakas for seven long months, with a quiet patient resignation worthy of a much bettercause. I looked upon their asking for the opinions of the three Consuls simply as a means of getting a good excuse for refusing the General's services. After then receiving the Consuls' replies, none of which were favourable to the General, I was surprised to hear of their unanimous invitation. It is at anv rate another striking proof that these Saraoaus are not to lie depended upon either individually or collectively. Of course, after waiting seven months for this invitation, tho General will accept it; and the result will bo that in less than three months from now he will heartily wish he had never heard of such a country us Samoa. No doubt, as Air. Weber observed to the Taimua, the General "is a very nice gentleman;" no one will join issue on that count. " Xice," when applied as descriptive of a gentleman is peculiarly a ladies ferin, and for a word of only one syllable, conveys a volume of meaning not to be found in any dictionary. When a lady says "Oh he's such a ' nice ' man," she means that he is passably good-looking; that he dresses well, una with taste and evident care, and is always agreeable to tho fair sex whenever he is thrown in their way. He is invaluable at a dance, a picnic or a croquet party ; while half the attractions of a morning concert or a flower show are lost if he is absent. His hair is never awry, but parted down the centre with mathematical precision, and his moustiidlios are kept trimmed to a nicety. No matter what the weather, no matter v.'h-t the occasion, no matter what tho time of day or night, whenever and wherever you see him his tout ensemble gives one the impression that he is spic and span new out of a show case. lie has a special gift, and that is of making pretty little meaningless speeches to the ladies at all ■of which he laughs himself, and displays a splendid row of front teeth. He has not much to say beyond a few commonplace remarks in the company of men, but will jerk in a word or two now aud again "on spec," accompanying the remark, lie it apropos or not, with oue of his own little laughs. He never swears; he nevor makes enemies—except amongst the ladies. The men wouldn't quarrel with him if he wanted —which he doesn't. Thiß is an average specimen of tho genus " nice " man. But it is to be hoped for tho sake of all parties concerned that the •General is not one of the " nice " men, — Mr. Weber's insinuation notwithstanding. The man who accepts the position of adviser to tho Government in these unsettled times must indeed be a man endowed •with any amount of brains, of common sense, aud of patience. It will be no time for him to be " nice " in any sense of the word; but he will have to buckle down to sheer hard up-hill work, fighting against a strong party of natives—notwithstanding the " unanimous " requisition—and also against the strong prejudices of the foreign Consuls and tho foreign population. I may bo wrong; I may underrate the abilities of the General—if I do, I apologise—but it strikes me that the General is scarcely cut out for a brilliantly successful adviser to a jieoplo liko these Sumouns; more especially in tho face of the teiriblo odds which are at present against him. No •one has ever hinted that the General is possessed of either tho ability or influence which Steiuberger undoubtedly possessed ; yet if that " pestilential penniless American adventurer," as I once heard him and his confreres styled by nn irate Britisher, were to return in all his glory, with tho support and welcome of a large proportion of the Sumouns, strengthened •by his previous knowledge and cxperience of them, —with all these and other propitious circumstances in his favour, he •would find he had a hard fight to fight, especially when onee he came into collision with any of tho Foreign Consuls. How much more difficult will it be then for the General—a comparative new chum —to aid these kanakas in the formation of their laws, and yet steer such a course as not to foul against any of the Consuls. When once he does collide with these authorities he is bound to sink. There is one thing I would advise the General to do immediately on taking office, —secure his first year's salary. There is nothing Tike " payment in advance " from these kanakas, —its the surest, and ruallv causes fens trouble to both parties. Fifteen hundred dollars will scarcely repay the General for the amount of vexation of spirit he will have to undergo; but I should at anyrato secure it, small as it is, before I went into this " vexations" business. Otojt.