ADVANCE AUSTRALIA!

Samoa Times and South Sea Gazette, Volume 2, Issue 60, 23 November 1878, Page 3

ADVANCE AUSTRALIA!

Quoting (ho old molt -. London Punch if A -■ ;ust 10 has ::•. article on the Australian Cricketers, headed by u t lie sketch of the whole tcara mounted on n kangaroo. "They are coming up, Master, cried Toby, in a fever of excitement, " the entire Eleven.' "They are heartily welcome cried MrPunch, with one of his most graceful hows, as the Ambassadors from the Antipodes, with Spofforth, Boyd, and theßonuerman Brothers, at their head, entered tin- sanctum. "Bo seated, my hoys," exclaimed Mr Punch, cordially. The eleven sunburn) heroes looked a' ono another and smiled, " We will tit down with pleasure," said the spokesman, " hut our favourite practice is to make a stand. You should see us at Lord's." " 1 havo seen you both at 1, irds and ■ .vions," returned Mr. Punch with en•'.::..sin. " I have seen you North, South, East, and West ; I have seen you all round. A splendid team ! Australia may well be proud of von, ami England too, as branches of tlie British willow, though grown a; the Antipodes." " li'm. I don't know." answered the spokesman ; " we lire pretty well. But there arc lots as pood or heller where we come from. Still, 1 think that we have given you a fair taste of lie- Cornstalk." •• Before or behind the wickets, in the field, — everywhere,—as the urtfulest of howlers or the best of 'oats, -yon arc simply-magnificent '." "Oh no, we are not," continued the spokesman, with modest pride. " As von may have seen by reading the report of the speeches at the dinner tho other night, we don't consider ourselves by any means the top-twigs of the Australian willow. But, as I say, we are pretty well, and quite equil to teaching our grandmother —if not your own Alma Mater—a thing 'or two." " Ah ! Cambridge was rather too much for you, but think wbal an Eleven it was ! You should have tackled them at the hoghming instead of the end of your rampaigne. But never mind that. Don't be put out,'' .said Mr. Punch good-natur->edly. " We never are, except after a long innings." returned tho spokesman. "Still, we don't think you quite understand us. Now, Sir, you are certainly the besf in-forne-d man in tho Old Country." " Uml aibtedly." ,'.-.,.■ ...J M r . Punch, " Well, Sir, wliat do you know aboul Australia? Now don't look it out in the Encyclopaedia Britannieu, but tell us oilband." "Australia is a magnificent country,'' returned Mr. Punch, with enthusiasmThen he added, with a little hesitation, and it's famous for all sorts of things." " What things ?" " Oh, gold, and Australian beef, and kangaroos—and 'possums, wombats, and ornithorbyncusses, black swans, black fellows, and bush-rangers, and " thou Mr. Punch came to a full stop. " I thought so," said the spokesman, •with a smile, "your ideas about Australia are of the most Zoological Gardenish character. Are you aware, Sir, that our cities are full of magnificent buildings? Are you aware, Sir, that trade and commerce are nowhere more prosperous than they are in our quarter of the globe? Are ;. ou aware, Sir,that with us all the learned professions are represented by the ablest men, and that Our Public Schools mid Universities are patterns which might he imitated with advantage in every quarter of the globe? Aro you aware, Sir, that our Press is as free, as enterprising, and as respectable as the Press of Great Britain ? Ave yon aware, Sir, that " "Stop, stop," interrupted Mr. Punch, " you overwhelm me. Believe mc, lam quite aware that Australia has taken gigantic strides in the march xif civilimtion, from the date of'her first European settlement " " You are alluding to Botany Bay, Sir.' "Not at all, not at all," returned Mr' Punch, quickly. " But we accept even the past of Botany Bjyp M r - Punch," said the spokesman. " It is our boast that we ourreney-folki linvii 1m en so sound at the euro tiiat we have bin. able to abs ib your convict re*

fu-e without cootamiuation fn ■ cn'minal I. .w ~. After all, it U \ hut ~u: OUI-Country a sand yeoi i J t ■ ii« D.mish pirates first, and N...1..a throats aft< rwarda." '■Then you know something of eailj English History I' " I should rather think we did ! Even before it had the Green light thrown u|k.ii it. What wu c iplain of in the Mother Country is—that it's not uearly English enough to suit oar tasti .." "Corae, com..,'' i, monstrated Mr. Punch. "Surely England takos the lead iu everything. " I like that '" replied tin.- spokesman. "Why, who taught you the blessings of tho Ballot Vet? k'» iio taught you ':" i 1 " Well, y .ii ciy, perhaps, bo a little a-huuii ~ us ... , i.itii -," interrupted Mr. Punch ; bui ail social reforms begin in England. " You dare say that, when you know ileal Spiers and Pond came from Australia ' Oh, Mr. Puuch, wc blush for you !'• " Well, your hearts are in the right places, at any rate." "1 should rather think they were! We love tho Old Country. We know bow 1.. handle the oar—as Trickett has taught you —as well as the ba! ; and as for the nth—.should the time come 'We dou't want to fight; but, by Jingo "' "' If we do,' dear boys, John Bull would rather, by a long chalk, rely on Australian Volunt rer KiHcmen than Indian Sepoys. But a truce to all Jingoism ; hi us hope that is settled by the Berlin Treaty. Believe me, my dear hoys, when I assure you that 1 love you so that i have hail serious thoughts, on the invitation of a branch of my family settled in Melbourne, to pay you a visit." " You bad better not ; for if you come wo should certainly keep you. And although your presence in Australia would be the climax of our triumph, we don't want to ruin tho mother country right out.'' With this pretty compliment the Australian Eleven, after hearty haini-shakes all round, withdrew. "Our counterparts, though our Antipodes; and no biind side to them, hi" liatsiw they are," said Mr. Pun™. "No doubt about their nationality. Brili -n Lions, every one. liiids 01 a fen ie-i with the old cock, and no mistake: M.n they and their great count,y, ol a s.. greater future, prospci .- - and .inn 'A - vance Australia ! loni; tie i... i.es .■■■..,