THE KAISER'S DREAM.

Stratford Evening Post, Volume XXVIV, Issue 41, 24 January 1916, Page 2

THE KAISER'S DREAM.

Thero's a story now current, though stange it may seem, Of the great Kaiser Bill and a wonderful dream ; Being tired of the Allies he laid down in bed, And amongst other things lie dreamt l lie wr.s dead, And in a fine coffin was lying in state,

With a guard of brave Belgians who mourned for his fate. Be wasn't long dead iill he found to his cost That his soul, like his soldiers, would ere long be lost.

On leaving this earth to heaven he went straight, Arriving up there gave a knock at the gate. But Saint Peter looked out, and in a voice loud and clear, Said. 'Begone, Kaiser Bill, we don't want you here.' Well.' sad the Kaiser, 'that's rat heir uncivil ;

I suppose alter all I must go to the devil.' So he turned on his heel, and away lie did go At 'the top of his speed to regions lielow.

But when he got there he was tilled with dismay, For while waiting outside he heard Old t Nick say To his imps 'Now look here, hoys, 1 give you all warning, I'm expecting the Kaiser down here in the morning; But don't let him in, for to me it's quite clear 1 He'r. a \i-vy badman, an<l we don't want him here ; 11' once ha got in there'll he no end of quarrels ; In lact I'm afraid he'll corrupt our good morals." 'Oh Satan, dear friend,' the Kaiser then cried, ■'Excuse me tor listening while waiting outside, If you don't admit me, say } where can f go.' •Indeed.' said the Devil, M really don't know,' ■Oh. do let me in, I'm feeling quite i cold. And if you want money, I've plenty of gold; 'Let me sit in a coiner, no matter howhot,' 'No, no.' said the. Devil, 'most certainly not. 'We don't admit folks here for riches and pelf. Here are sulphur and matches —make a Hell for yourself.' Chen he kicked Wilhelm out, and he vanished in smoke— And just at that moment the Kaiser awoke. He junip'd from his bed in a shivering sweat" And said, 'Well, that's a dream J, shall never forget, That 1 won't go to heaven I know very well, JJut it's really too had to be kicked out of hell." —Otago "Witness.