THE MOCK COURT.

Stratford Evening Post, Volume XXVII, Issue 73, 26 July 1915, Page 7

THE MOCK COURT.

£143 19S Gd RAISED. 1 The Mock Court, which was postponed from the original date until last Saturday, sat in state in Broadway. The rain and wind should have been fined for staying away, as the Sun had things his own way, and while he shone the Court made money for the Sick and Wounded Soldiers. ,The Cadets' Drum and Fife Band i paraded and heralded the coming of the Judge and his retinue with pomp and power. A large crowd had assembled to see the fun, among whom were many whose curiosity cost them various sums of money. When the Judge arrived in state in his magnificent car. the High Sheriff read tinKing's Commission appointing one I Alfred Coleman to preside at the Court and "to fine, imprison, or punish in such other way as you seem meet" the criminals brought before him. A Crown Prosecutor was iudis pensable. and one Hobert Spence was appointed to that office. The Court Orderly kept: the prisoners in a row 'such as the most exacting Ixiilifl" i should require. The police were kepi busy, 1 and the effoits of Constables Young, Davis. McDonald. Osmond David. 'Dun lop, and several others earned them Iron Crosses. There was quite a long list of offenders, and the Judge must have been severely shocked at the list. It is rumoured that he was confidently expecting a pair of white gloves, but the detective force under Chief Detective Cam pi

Jackson got busy and succeeded in bringing to judgment many desperate and "wanted" scoundrels. In cidentally, several offenders bad «ought to bide their identity by joining the police force, but relentless justice found them out. The Chief Detective himself was fined £1 for neglecting to proceed to the War Office and help Earl Kitchener who appealed for another Napoleon, and on the recommendation of Janfes" Allen called on the worthy detective. , The long arm of the law caught our worthy Mayor giving the happy optic to the Glad Eye girls, and as a result of bis offence be was not allowed to plead not guilty and was fined £3. During the trial of the Mayor, a resisting prisoner, to wit one Harold was brought in to Court and charged with a tragedy which had led him to take his meals off the mantelpiece. His* tenderest feelings were again hurt to the extent of £l. "Take yer 'at off" greeted a budging prisoner who was fined £3 for being a rogue and vagabond and having no visible means of support. An attempt on the part of a banker who surreptitiously tried to make a grant of £3OOO to buy two well-known Caledonians new sporrans cost the banker a guinea. A hue-a"d-crv led to the dragging liefore the Judge of a public benefactor who was beard to exclaim when caught "Whew, it's hot." His benevolence in lending money on personal security at '2i per cent resulted in bis having to lend the Court £1 ]os at 0 per cent. One King was fined for taking a newton of bides and skins from a farj mev after be had been warned time and again. "Skin him for £3 3s.'. ■iteid the Judge. A Scot of the name of Adolph Manoy was relieved of £1 for refusing to supply the Expeditionary Force with blankets and socks at his own price. The defendant evidently "thought of de prof" and laughed at the fine. His laugh cost him 10s. "You must not he too liberal prisoner," said the Judge. One ardent golf- ' er was fine<l £1 for trying to lever the I sedge off the racecourse with a steel instrument. "Hang 'im" shouted the crowd when a desperate criminal was , brought before the Judge for inciting the waitressi at a hotel to commit a breach of the Hotel Employees' award, i "What a pity, sighed the Judge. Fin ed £3. "By George, you were too smart," said the Judge to a prisoner ;who was charged with interfering j with the free passage of a motor cycjlist. His pocket was- interfered, with •to the extent of £l. An eminent | bacchanalian was arrested for asking the Prime Minister to have hotels

closed at midnight. The Judge evidently thought i hat if the poor soul

whs not drunk by ten lie was not trying, and lined prisoner £l. A wellknown horse-owner was charged with misrepresenting the qualifications of "Top Twigg." What oh. that's too right," said the Judge, Fined £2 2s. A willin', hard, grave, horny "young" criminal was lined £1 for refusing to place his Ford car at the disposal of the War Office. "Head the charge," quoth the .Judge, when a pulsating culprit of milking machine fame was put in the. dock. He was charged with wearing kilts six inches too short and fined £2. What a h of a fuss orderly. Who is the prisoner?" Uecruit leaving wife and children unprovided for,. Yer Washup." fined £l. Many other desperate, daring, dirty criminals were put in the dock and lined, and at last Stratford was purged. (Jod Save the, King.