THE MILK THAT BREATHED

Stratford Evening Post, Volume XXXIX, Issue 86, 1 August 1914, Page 2

THE MILK THAT BREATHED

(Mr' Bodley has declared that Milk Breathes.)

In this modern age of science, when we don't know what we eat, And the mystery deepens when we go to drink, What with_ Microbes, Germs and Bacilli and other fearsomethings, Both the eating and the drinking makes us s 1 , ink. And now come; ~ »■ Bodley with his scientific vi ws, With views tln.c have- scared us all to death, For before a crowd of experts he has solemnly declared: The milk we drink is now. endowed , with breath!

I liavo seen my chee&o go walking, I have heard my Jratterfhum, But this breathing niilk I never yet When I catch a smell offensive, from a billy or a jug, I know for certain that that milk has breathed! Should your milk go thick and curdled, like a junket or cream cheese, To eat it then would mean a sudden death, Although it may look harmless, your milk in decomposed, Mr Bpdlev says it died for want of breath!

If we drink our milk just tepid, as it comes straight from the cow, Some doctors have declared it's .suicide; While if we go and boil it, and try and kill the germs, Mr lk/dley Says it's not a germicide ! Ho says it forms four poisons, that are deadly in their work, He would make a chemist shop of your kine, For it seems the act of boiling has the chemical effect Of making Formalin and Phospherine!

It seems our cow's a mystery, a regular modern Sphinx, A laboratory and chemist shop combined, She's an animal exalted, like the Indian sacred cow, Her usefulness has never been defined! , We reckoned, our old Primrose a receptacle for milk, But it seems she's formed a sort of science class, For shfi scoops up all the *xygei. that's floating in the air, And bellows forth carbonic acid gas!

Don't feed your cows on onions, or such evil-smelling" things, Or the breath your milk is breathing won't be sweet. Sow some violets.in her pasture, put some rose leaves in her hay, And in winter feed her up on sugar beet! Put sonic perfume in the "Vater when you take her for a drink, You might try her with some Otto de Rose, Then your milk "will breath a sweetness, like the far-famed Scilly Isles, And satisfy the strict inspector's nose! =,

Some vets, say give cows whisky when suffering from a chill, Which has shocked the owners of teetotal cows, It's upset their fixed conviction that tea would cure all • ills, It has made them break their strict cold water vows! Should you join a temperance party, and have cow's milk in your tea, And find you're getting lively , and too frisky, . Although you may be innocent, and never know the cause, That milk was breathing undiluted whisky! —Neuchamp, Stratford.