THE MILKING OF SKITTLES.

Stratford Evening Post, Volume XXXVI, Issue 35, 16 June 1913, Page 7

THE MILKING OF SKITTLES.

(By "Toko") i When the Doss came back from the factory and told Bill and me that he had employed a young fellow to' help us with the milking, we wondered what kind of a young fellow he would be. The Boss .drives to the factory himself. He says lie likes to study the bucolic mind when they ■are waiting with the carts. I asked Bill what the bucolic mind was, and he said it was a new kind of stuff they jwsre going to make out of the skimImilk. That's one thing 1 like about 'Bill; it doesn't matter a straw what 'you ask him, he can tell von. So when the Boss drove in the gate next 'morning with the skim-milk, the young fellow was with him in the cart. He looked very mild and quiet, and as soon as Bill saw him, he said to me: "He's a 'dipper'! a dipper from Kaponga. And I'll bet a bob he has been teaching a Sunday school." So I know in a minute that Bill and me wouldn't - like him. When we all started milking in the afternoon, the Boss said to the young fellow: "You milk that one"— and ho pointed to a little red cow with white marks that we called "Skittles.' Bill lo'oked round at mo and shut one eye. When the young fellow stooped down to put the leg-rope on, Skittles gave a start 'as if she were quite surprised, and 'then gave him a smart littlo kick. The young fellow got very red in the face, and rubbed his leg with both hands, but after a minute ho sidled up to her and got the rope on. I noticed he brought her leg back pretty viciouslike, ,; -as far as she could stretch it, aid when he put the bight of ,the rope down the side of her leg, I knew he was a milker all right. He looked at her tail, but as it looked such a ;hort tail, he thought he would chance t. So he started milking. Now, Skittles's tail wasn't so short as it 'ooked. The hard part of Skittles's tail was as long as the hard part of uiy other cows' tail, only it didn't lave' the long tassel on the end, but nstead had a littlo bunchy wisp, like i mop; and when her tail was very vet and very dirty—and it was usual'y both—and she hit a porson on the nde of the head with it, as the Boss -.aid: "It was a fearsome thing." He's i funny man, the Boss. The young fellow was milking pretty hard with tis thumbs bent Swiss fashion, when, \dthout the slightest warning, SkitJes hit him with the butt of her tail :uch a whack on the ear that it nearly ifted him off the stool. ') Bill and me 'ever heard? any young fellow curse so juick and so hard as this young fellow did. Ho got up, and, as the Boss said, he scratched the, mud out of his ear with one hand and pursed with the other. When he was'calling Skittles' names,,.l heard the Boss, muttering something about "Babylon! Babylon!" I asked Bill next day where Babylon was, and he said it was down near Wanganui. He's a funny man ho Boss. After-a'Uit, : the 'young fellow got a bit of cord and tied skittles's tail to the post, hard. He .vas a bit suspielOtrs''of her by this time, so he looked her all over. But Skittles was cKewing 'her bud quite mnocent, s only : she was chewing it" a ';it quicker than most cows do. So lie tarted milking' again. When'Skitles is put in the bail, she has a habit )f pushing far in, and so when the .•oung fellow was milking away, Skitles drew slowly back and put her off foot in across on to the young fellow's : iig toe, and then stood with all her .eight on it. When Skittles's full veight came on the young fellow's big ;oe, he gave a roar like a demented jackass, as the Boss said afterwards, md tried to push Skittles off, but be knew quite well that she had him, md so hung on. The young fellow ;Hit his head down, and sunk a set of pry sharp teeth in poor Skittles' flank. This was taking Skittles in die rear, as the Boss said afterwards, n a way she didn't expect, so she sprung into the air with both hind feet. When Skittles jumped up the , oung fellow took away his big toe. Is he was getting up, I knew exactly ivhat he was going to do. I knew he •vas going to kick Skittles on the ribs just behind the fore-leg; only,l wondered whether he would kick her with the big tie she had been standing an or tho other one. He hesitated for a moment, and took the other one. This was good for Skittles, because it wasn't his kicking foot. All the ;nme, he put in three or four real good lacks, but, as Bill said, Skittles could

take it with one hand, for she drew herself round and had a lot of slack hide to meet it. Bill told him to look out or the Boss would see him. The young fellow said he didn't care a d who saw him. Both Bill and mo began to like this young fellow, because we could see that when we got in to our room after tea, and had the phonograph going, and cigarettes, u'cl playing crib, wo woudl be all right. And, besides, Bill iiad been afraid that be was one of these fellows thai will pray out loud before he n;oes to bed j and !sill said ho had left two quir! a week before he would stand it. However, when the young fellow stood back, Skittles put her head round the bail stick, and looked at him with a very bright oye, as much as to say, "that just brings us about level." The young fellow went and got a Bit of rope and tied her off-leg to the post.. Flo looked her all over again, and as everything seemed pretty well tied up, he started milking once more. ] could see he was getting a bit nervous, for be was trying to keep one eye towards her head and the other towards her tail. He had nearly finished, when all of a sudden Skittles drew herself up, and with a convulsive heave gave a great cough; a cough, as the Boss said afterwards, "of such a shockingly volcanic and eruptive nature," that

the young fellow threw himself back on tho floor, with a confused feeling in his mind that in spite of all his precautions, in some mysterious way, Skittles had done for him. The young fellow was getting up with the spade, when the Boss stepped round and said, "Oh, you take some of the others; I forgot that Skittles was a bit fidgety with strangers." When the Boss let her out, she came down the shed as jaunty as if she was going to the Pictures. The Boss went into the calf-house—l ; could see him through a crack—and he laughed till the back buttons flew- off his dungarees. He's a funny man the Boss.