ABSOLUTELY “IT!”

Stratford Evening Post, Volume XXXV, Issue 91, 24 April 1913, Page 7

ABSOLUTELY “IT!”

Quite a modern Sam 'W oiler appeared at Siioreditch County Court in the person of Frederick Lee, of Lambert square, to claim commission from William Berry, Ltd., of Manchester,’ for polish sold at Portsmouth Exhibition.

At the outset, he informed the Court that he was the champion bootblack of the world. “That’s up to them,” he exclaimed. “They can’t deny it. I’m an absolute daisy when 1 start. In fact, I’m absolutely ‘IT.’ ” (Laughter.) The Registrar intimated that he would like to hear something about the case.

“Don’t be in a hurry I There’s plenty of time,” rejoined plaintiff. “You’re paid for your job, and I want to be paid for mine. (Laughter.) This is likely to be a long case.” Registrar: Quite the contrary. It is likely to be very short if you don’t go on. (Laughter.) Plaintiff: I was to have. Ud in the shilling commission; and, my! wasn’t the exhibition full up. 1 was to clean boots free, and keep any tips. Finding the place full,.the next thing was to make them come on, so I gives ’em rny “champion shoeblack,” and you should have seen ’em roll up. (Renewed laughter.) All day long it was nothing but tearing about getting change for silver. I should think there was 12 quid’s worth sold, but I am only up to them for £5. , )t . Registrar: But why let them off if it is due to you? Plaintiff: I didn’t want to bo too hard on ’em.,., (Loud laughter.) Registrar: Bub they have plenty of money. ~ . Plaintiff: Ah, and I’m after it, too. (Laughter.) Registrar: If you have lost so much it is surprising you have' not claimed for it.

Plaintiff: Let’s get on. Yon said you were in a hurry just now. (Laughter.) I cleaned three or four dozen pairs of boots a day, and had the tips. But I’m the fool; I ought to have put in for a bit more, (Laughter.) I’ve had no sleep over this job. Defendant company’s solicitor contended the plaintiff got so drunk that a soldier and Ms wife had to be paid 7s to mind him. (Laughter.) Tht manageress of the exhibition said that the “champion” was drunk all day long. Plaintiff: Gee! What about Lyon and your half-quarterns with Mr Wilson all day long? (Loud laughter.) Registrar; Judgment for defendant. I consider you were well paid. Plaintiff: I wish to appeal. Registrar: Ton can do just whatever jydu like'. ’ IJ ,-• ■ ' i .I.n 1 r l 3