Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21098, 2 June 1930, Page 8

Shaun’s Patch

A little nonsenee now mil then Is relished bx the wisest men. —Hudlbna.

It’s true Blue Has a hoodoo On the bilious buccaneers, And the crack back To the Black pack Is received with Stella cheers. » * * * C.C.S. saith: Did you hear of the Scot who educated his laddie to take big steps so that he didn’t wear his boots out so quickly ? Presumably he couldn’t be expected to take long strides, because Scotsmen don’t wear any. Still, a Scot will aways pay his respects. * ♦ * * THOSE INNOCENTS. A.M. has this one: She thought bawbees were a species of South African honey gatherers. And C.S.S. proposes: She thought an apiarist was one who had no religion. While I suggest: She thought cash on delivery was a fishy business. She thought corporal punishment was a military manoeuvre. s[ : * * * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence with the word “artificial” in it: “Artificial bite on dull days.” A correspondent asks: If you gel the best of whisky and it gets ihe best of you, who gets the best of the deal ? There must be a proper “cut,” anyway. St * * * In after years Men will admit, Though then their tears Rolled down a bit, Some teachers should Be roundly thanked For doing good To lads they spanked. tjs . # * 4f One thing about Mr A. W. Jones’s idea of having a record of the reasons for corporal punishment that appeals to me is that in af.'er life great men will be able to tell the world why they were spanked. Think, too, hbw fine it will be to be able to ask some political candidate: “Isn’t it a fact you were once caned for putting your tongue out at the teacher?" * « * * MODERN PROVERBS. Spare the child and spoil the clod. $ 4? * Wasted ingenuity: Cheating at patience. UNNATURAL HISTORY. The Fly. Scientists have made it clear The busy little fly Will quickly multiply His population every year, ■ And urge us to apply a check By swatting frequently, But taking care to see We smite the female in the neck. The female of the species is More potent than the male, And so we’re sure to fail Unless we put her out of biz. The children of one fly-ma born . Within a single night Will quickly put to flight The record of a prize leghorn. Upon these vita! facts I think, My duty 1 descry, But seeking mamma fly Is a job from which 1 shrink, A gentleman in all respects I always try to be And repugnant ’tis to me To smite the gentler sex. Another point comes to my mind From my experience— I don’t think I am dense, But it is difficult I find, When setting on the fatal deed, To make it wait while I Myself can satisfy If it’s the female of the breed.