Page 8 Advertisements Column 2

Southland Times, Issue 21093, 27 May 1930, Page 8

ffliaun’s Patch Jl little nonsetuw now end then Is relUhed by the wleest men. —Hudibraa. I! — This Bradman Is a bad man 1 Who thinks he failed,,you see, Unless he stayed Some time and made A double century. * ■ * sS * About this name business. Along has come a suggestion from America, made with a quiet persuasiveness that is winning. Messrs Thomson and Beattie have received this mail a letter addressed Dress Buyer Thomson Beattie, Ltd. Nevervargret, New Zealand. Making allowances for a slight difference in spelling, the name carries with it a gentle compliment, and a slogan. Perhaps, there is some significance in the fact that the Post Office marked it “Try Invercargill” and duly delivered the letter. * * * f.i I take pride in the fact that I forecasted Mr Baxter’s attitude. He now wants football teams to remain on the ground during the intervals. On a wet, cold day the British players In a lucid interval. Will bless his deuced interval. **■ « * FAMOUS PIPES. Drain — . of peace. Clay . — of Pan. ——— clay. Wind . ■ —— his eye. Meerschaums. Calabash •. -——— down. Bos’un’s . that girL Sand er. organ. Churchwardens. Hookahs. Nose-warmers. -» * * * The first 2/6 to reach the Pipers’ Club was from John A. Cameron, of Mataura. Hence a bard hath writ: There’s many a man o’ the Cameron Clan, There’s many a yard in the mile; John. Cameron (Mataura) was the first to z drive in His hauf-croon tae the Pipers’ Club pile. ■X- * * * Girls seem to fancy slip-ons. Banana peels? * » # * Someone will look at Miss Amy Johnson and murmur: “And they call them the weaker sex.” * * Sl< * MODERN PROVERBS. Clothes break the man. * * * * A woman may not keep her word, but still hold to her compact. * * ♦ * 1930 SIMILES. As strong-minded as the New Zealand Rugbv Union. * * « * Now the British yice-captain has been injured, I suppose the, advice to the team is Sobey careful. **» * t THE INNOCENTS. She thought the Vice-President was the head of a- naughty club. •» * # * There was a time when girls used to be ashamed if they showed their insteps, now’ they show their step-ins. * * sfc * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence- with the word “divorce" in it: ; “This is divorce joke I have read.” * * $ #• The Chinese alphabet contains 43,000 characters. What a notion for a big motion picture 1 * * * sfe THAT FATAL CHARM. From a recent newspaper: As a good example of presence of mind in a theatre, a well-known author used to tell the story of a violinist who was sitting in the stalls of a crowded theatre in New York, w’hen someone shouted “Fire!” The violinist at once left his seat, snatched a violin from a member of the orchestra, and began to play a familiar melody. The audience was spellbound, panic was averted and everyone was burnt to death. After all, it may have been a case where death was a happy release. He might have played again. “Safe as a Church.” When any refuge from impending trouble seems secure beyond all doubt, we say: “This is safe as a church.” The expression has, of course, nothing to do with the soundness of the structure. It is derived from the fact that in olden days churches were sancruaries, having gained which, no man could be taken by the civil power. The Church claimed the right to hear confessions, impose penance and pronounce absolution, on higher authority than that of kings. The old right of sanctuary no longer holds, in the ancient sense of the word at any rate. Otherwise the churches would be so full of slate club secretaries during December that there would be no room for the Christmas worshippers. Eve's EplGmnsl Ueceusy. wL. ' za OOftn’& i r-i ch I doesn’t V co can he’s cjorthA I ony th.in.G-. \ \ •big I I J