The Cousins’ Competitions

Southland Times, Issue 21091, 24 May 1930, Page 22

The Cousins’ Competitions

AWARDS IN THE 235th TEST. (a) Story for all cousins 14 and over, entitled: "The Twinkling Star.” First prize—s/- and 4 marks to Cousin Hazel Stewart (15) 270 Ythan Street,’lnvercargill-. Second prize.—2/6 and 3 marks to Cousin Graham Witt (15) 159 Lindisfarne Road, Invercargill. Highly Commended.—2 marks to Cousins Jean Nichol (14) 166 Clyde Street, Invercargill; Beatrice Witsey (16) Riverton. (b) Titled Poem (for all Cousins 13 and under) to fit the picture. First prize.—5/- and 4 marks to Cousin Chrissie Ross (11) Puketiro. Second Prize.—2/6 and 3 marks to Cousin Nancy Rowan (12), Otautau. Specially Commended—3 marks to Cousin Mary Fortune (8) Home Street, Winton. Highly Commended.—2 marks to Cousin J4ck Heath (11) Tuatapere; James Fortune (12) Home Street, Winton; Edna Gordon (13) Otatara. Commended.—1 1 mark to Cousins Zoe Smith (12) 24 Mitchell Street, Lindisfarne; Margaret Macarthur (11) Ohai; Nita Finlay (13) Te Tua. COMMENTS. Although I simply cannot understand why there were so few entries for the story competition this week, I was very pleased with those I did receive.. It was interesting to see the different ways the competitors treated the subject, and I must -say that you are learning, all of you, to make your subject the central idea in your story. That promises well for the future, and is one of the reasons why the page, at the present time, is the developing ground of the strongest bunch of writers I have yet had. Another reason for this very pleasing state of affairs is that more of you are considering that subtle thing called ‘style’ in connection with your writings, with the result that you are not only concerned with what you write, but with the way you express it. That is a very important thing. Most of you have realized,. too, that a good beginning and a good ending strengthen a story’s effect enormously. The first catches the reader’s attention, intrigues his curiosity, and makes him want to pursue the story further; the last can bring your story to a satisfactory conclusion by “clewing it up”

-and leaving "a nice taste” in the reader’s mouth. The ending can nearly always make or mar a story’s effectiveness. I wonder how many of you read 0. Henry’s delightful short stories, or some of therp, at least? Many of you are still too young to appreciate them fully; but as you grow older you will delight in this author’s ability to guage human nature and keep a surprise for his closing sentences. Cousin Graham -Witt attempted something of this sort in his second story. • This is undoubtedly the best story Cousin Hazel Stewart has written for the page, although it’s ending could have been stronger. Her plot is originally constructed, and freshly and intelligently handled, and ’'""her style has lost many of the awkward phrases that betokened lack of practice. Her conversation, too, is written naturally. Cousin Graham Witt’s first story is better than his second because its incorporation of the twinkling star as the motivating force (there’s a big phrase for you! Do ; you understand its meaning?) of its plot gives it a compactness that the second lacks. "‘ I do like boys to write about boys, and "‘girls about girls—it is a constant source of surprise to me that these are generally the last subjects they want to write about!

Graham’s style is still inclined to be a little jerky owing to incoherency in linking up his ideas into a smooth chain. His final idea of the falling star is an effective touch. The punctuation of his second story left room for improvement. Cousin Jean Nichol, who writes intelligently, chose a rather hackneyed and not a particularly strong plot on which to hang her tale, and although she used it in a quite interesting way, it is not outstanding. This cousin sends me the neatest work of any contributor to the page at the present time, and it is always a joy to receive. Cousin Beatrice Witsey, who writes well with a highly imaginative pen, generally goes too far away for her subjects, when I’m sure for one of her observation there is plenty of ma rial for interesting stories all around her. She always gives the impression of writing of what she has read about, rather than of what she has seen and felt, and that cannot help but give her stories a touch of unreality, unbecoming to her pen. ■This cousin’s descriptive work and her effective phrases prove that she lives appreciative of her surroundings. I do want her to go further and imagine her plots and characters in them. This story is inclined to be vague in places, lacking decision. —COUSIN BETTY.

The junior poems were splendid, and betoken an all-round improvement. What I specially liked about them was their simplicity, because then I know you are being natural, cousins, and natural things are always the most effective—even poems! All the competitors seemed to have no difficulty in expressing themselves simply, and there were surprisingly few mistakes, either in metre or in rhyming. I was pleased to see, too, that you gave your poems titles. That is a good custom to adopt as a habit. There was little to choose between the first and second entries, and I finally placed Cousin Chrissie Ross’s'poem first because, after all, /“Janey and Ann and me,” being the subject, and not the object, of “sail,” should be “Janey and Ann ami I.” You must remember, cousins, that grammar is just as important to good poetry as it is to prose. Both prize-winners have a good sense of rhythm, and it will be very interesting to watch their development. ' Both, too, are comparatively new competitors. Cousin Mary fortune’s little poem is also very good, runs smoothly and sounds very spontaneous. (I wonder if Mary knows what that big word means?) Cousin Jack Heath painted a convincing picture. His rhythm lias improved very much this year. Jn Cousin James Fortune’s poem the verse pattern is not altogether consistent, which is a weakness in a very fine effort. I notice, too, that two of the lines begin with “and,” which is also to be avoided as a weakness. James, as well as Jack, has a good sense of rhythm, which needs still more practice to round off one or two sharp points. His poem has much of the picture in it—more than the others, I think. Cousin Edna Gordon, whose verse-making has made such rapid strides this year, rhymed “worn” with “storm,” which is not quite a rhyme; and at just about that place, too, her grammar becomes a little bit entangled. I am very pleased with her work of late. Cousin Zoe Smith’s second attempt at verse-making is very creditable, which cannot be said about her arithmetic—or was it her eyesight at fault when she sings of “four” Little Southlanders? The first verse is smoother than the second, whose lines are inclined to be crowded. Now that Cousin Margaret Macarthur is only rhyming the second and fourth lines, the result is much more fluent, and consequently I am very pleased with “The Viking’s Boat.” Cousin Nita Finlay, who doesn’t give her versemaking ability nearly enough practice, changed her rhyme pattern from the third verse onwards, by rhyming first and third, as well as second and fourth lines! Verses must be consistent throughout the, length of a poem, in this respect. A singular does not rhyme with a plural, either—as “billows” and “pillow”—and if. “water” and “porter” are given their true phonetic values they do not rhyme. And “the hero of the day was me!” Goodness, Nita, what shocking grammar! There are good points in this poem, nevertheless, and I am hoping you will try your hand at verse-making with more regularity. \ —COUSIN BETTY. 226th COMPETITION (a) An imaginative story, whose central figure is 1 your favourite character in history. (For all cousins) «

(b) Drawing (for Cousins under 16): “A Cheshire Cat.” —Closing date—TUESDAY, MAY 27, 1930. —COUSIN BETTY. Rules to Remember. 1— Write in ink on one side of the paper only. 2 — There must be separate sheets for each competition. 3— Each Cousin must work unaided, and enter his or her own work. 4— Drawing must be in black ink, preferable Indian ink and on drawing paper. 5— Each entry must show the name and address of -the Cousin, and age. 6 — No one more than 16 years of age may compete in these classes unless otherwise stated. 7— —Remember that spelling and neatness will be taken into account. 8 — Write ■ your name, age and address at the end of each entry. —Closing date—TUESDAY, MAY 27, 1930. —COUSIN BETTY. 227th COMPETITION (a) Essay on Dreams. (For cousins under 16). This may be treated iji any way you like. (b) Sonnet (any subject) for cousins under 16. —Closing date—TUESDAY, JUNE 3, 1930. —COUSIN BETTY.