Shaun's Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21088, 21 May 1930, Page 6

Shaun's Patch

Jl little noneetue now *nd then hi relished by the wisest men. —Hudlbmn.

Gerbault, it is stated) having had his offer of marriage refused by Suzanne Lenglen, decided to depart on another voyage in his yacht. If not one troubled sea, it’s another.

The woman feminist complains, Her woe speaks in a wail; The modern scarecrow still remains Attired as a male. And why to female scarecrows arc The farmers so averse? The cost of dressing them is far Beyond the farmer’s purse. * * * ft Sometimes a man who has been through terrible dangers and survives to tell the story, rarely does anything else. * * * * MODERN PROVERBS. Don’t count your lickins till you’re catched. * * * * The oy’ster lives a lazy life, One that to me appeals, They have to drag him from his bed To get him to his meals. * THE*IN NOCENTS, * She thought cereal food was continued each day. * * * # When you go to a painter and offer to buy one of his pictures, he knows you’re a man after his own art. From A.K.: Home Dyeing: An amateur undertaking. * * * * If- the City Council really wishes to change the name of this fair city, I will show my patriotism by an immediate offer to lease the name Shaun’s Patch, at a peppercorn rent, free of rates, and insurance thrown in. I may say that as a poet of a long experience I have always opposed the name Invercargill owing to the difficulty of obtaining suitable rhymes. I recognize, of course, that there is “gargle,” but then “cork” rhymes with New York, and there, are few rhymes available for Dunedin; still I am not consumed by any desire to indite poems to those cities. Philological objections to Invercargill can be overcome without serious expense. “Inver” means “at the mouth of” and the “Cargill” can be justified by changing the Puni to the Cargill Torrent. No one will be the worse, and the chocolate stream will be raised in status from a puny thing to a raging torrent. I offer the full rights, and band parts of this idea to the City Council without charge. * * * * When new names are proposed, however, I utterly bar: Puniville.. Macstown. Oretiburg. Electricgrad. Lower Auckland. »*s . * Gilt-edged securities: Fancy garters. * * * * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give me a sentence with the word “roseate” in it: “Ah, little asparagus, I will be glad to know my roseate you.” Insomnia last night was due, My dear, to ardent thoughts of you, Although the cause I might define As lobster mayonnaise and wine.

The Prohibitionist makes dry remarks, but the Wet has liquid notes.

He was a writer of the staccato style, and that is why he was pained when the judge gave him a long sentence.

I wonder if oysters ever have valve trouble.