Shaun’s Patch.

Southland Times, Issue 18859, 26 June 1920, Page 11

Shaun’s Patch.

“A little nonsense now and then." —“Hudibras." Misfortune—A Public Service place luck goes wrong. Sparks Flying—The Athletic forwards break away. The other day in the menu of a hostelry where a “French” chef was kept there appealed the inviting item—"Horse de Oevre, Capers.” ***' * # * Temptation: "Danger.” «-«* « * • They have a way in America of picking the right man for a job. Recently the Kaw river in Kansas overflowed and pumping operations were necessary. One reads that “Frank Cole, city milk inspector, was appointed to supervise the work.” *♦■•*** Little Jack Horner Sat in a corner Eating a succulent pie; He put in a finger But then didn’t linger— The temperature seemed to be high. ****** One hears so much of American business organisation that the following gem from an engineering company in New York is irrestible: Dear sirs: We thank you for your quotation of April 1, but regret to state, that the circular mentioned there in was not enclosed. We would appreciate receiving at least three copies of same', and are, yours faithful!}', Selson Engineering Co. P.S.—Since writing the above we have received under separate cover three copies of your circular, for which we thank you. How is this for honest advertising (I won’t reveal the town in which it saw the light) : “You save at least two pounds on the price of the same goods in any other store.” The Prices Tribunal should see those people. Advice to full-backs; Consider the Lilley how he goes. Announcement in an American paper: Pictures of President Wilson. Sold in frame, 2.50 dollars; without frames, one cent. This must be a Republican plot, a political "frame up,” so to speak. ***'**** I notice that in England a man has invented a gramaphone that can be heard two miles away. The Hague Convention or the S.P.C.A., should get to work on this. ****** It stands bereft of all its beauty, A skeleton of vanished joys, Where once so arch it did its duty; But now it is the scorn of boys! TVhy docs it wait, scorned by the present? What day will clothe its form again, A noble gateway to the Crescent ? What day ? And why ? And how ? and when ? Oh, is it left in its old station To greet some distant jubilee? Young Edward Albert’s coronation? Or p’raps the town’s centenary? Will it be covered o’er with flowers When one-man cars run in the town? Or when a government empowers The Mayor to wear a chain and gown ? Who knows? But there, still going rotten, Its ugly frame-work fills the air— A monument to (he forgotten And to our municipal care. ****** I notice that there is talk of the Government taking over the control of racing. If this is done, Government control of other sports will follow ns a natural course, and we will then read of the appointment of a Minister of Sport, a portfolio that Mr Massey is sure to take. The next election will sec the Reformers promising us a safe policy in connection with stakes and a Royal Commission to fix, dividends. The Liberals will promise a bold increase in stakes and the Labour Party wiil include in its platform a plapk demanding equality of weights and overtime payments to jockeys where Inc standard time is exceeded in any race. In football, Cabinet will meet to pick the New Zealand team and politicians will promise their constituencies to get at least three electors from (heir district put in the dominion fifteen. And think of the Sport Department’s estimates! What a gorgeous chance for what our American friends call “pork.” Cabinet, of course, will become a sectional committee of the School Sports Association. • **>■'*« Speaking at (he laying of a foundation stone at Canberra, the embryo capital of Australia, the Prince of Wales said: "This seems to ire a town of foundation stones.” —News item. He went along the untrodden ways Beside our Billy Hughes, A Prince, whom all were wont to praise And boost up in the news. And there a great foundation stone He well and truly laid; But In! ’(was not the only one , That cast a welcome shade. Slones strewn there were, but few could know The day that they might be, Of noble buildings part; but oh! The Prince said feelingly: “I’ve (ravelled among unknown men, In lands beyond (ho sea, And Britain! Thou’it beat again--Here’s slower things than thee. "This is a melancholy dream Stones scattered by the score, No one on other, and the stream Of years will bring some more. “Perhaps my son will know some day The joy of my desire: To see Canberra on its way— At least a storey high’r. / And his son’s son, or son’s son’s son May come where I have laid This stone, to find a building done And half a street surveyed.”