Shaun’s Patch.

Southland Times, Issue 18853, 19 June 1920, Page 11

Shaun’s Patch.

“A little nonsense now and then” —“Hudibras.” The Bolshevist Government does some good things. A little while ago it organised its poets into a battalion, not for fighting but for the production of good Bolshevist poetry. Unhappily a good many of the poets were of a bourgeois turn of mind and failed to make their verses red enough. Lunatcharsky, the builder of the Soviet’s system of education, was the originator of the idea of organising the poets, but Comrade Trotsky it was who decided to turn them loose upon the enemy—another breach of the Hague Convention. It would not oe a bad idea to despatch some of the modern cranky poets as a Foreign I/Cgion to reinforce this battalion, which, we are told, has fought fiercely the Soviets’ battles, proving that when, the pen is turned into a sword it is a deadly weapon. Procrastination.-—A pickpocket with a watch. ****** Awake! For Circle with unbridled might Hath flung a stone that makes us sit up-right And lo! the laws for hockey in the School , Come swiftly into being—overnight. ****** Gunn goes off on Tuesday. Diogenes was looking for an honest man. ‘‘Why are you honest ?” he asked the first. “Because honesty is the best policy,” he answered. “And you?” to the second. “Because it’s taught in Sunday School.” “And you?” “Because I promised my mother.” There was but one man left. “Why are you honest?” asked the sage. “Because I’m always afraid of getting caught.” “Come with me.” said Diogenes. Sam, Sam, here I am The very best of quality in lamb, Sam! Brought across the ocean By the very brightest notion That in a pressman’s noddle you could cram, Sam, I hope that you will cover him with jam. For the bloke that bucks the packers Must be like ten thousand Thackers, A man who for a trust won't give a tram, Sam. Montreal, May 34.--The New York World states that Georges Carpentier has signed to fighting (sin Battling I.evinsky for the light-heavyweight championship of the world on or before July 2f). The contestants have agreed to 'weigh in at 175 ft. -Sydney Daily Telegraph. This is evidently going to be some fight, provided the contestants can consume enough thyroid in the ip.terim. The referee will probably see the fight from a dirigible and the Press will be “up m the clouds” with their descriptions. The whole affair will certainly be high-handed.

My best score for Nine holes:—Ist.—l lose a ball. ’2nd.--I lose my temper. ,’ird.— I halve with the Colonel and regain my equanimity. 4th.—l find a ball; all square. 5(,h.- Ball lost anil found after fifteen minutes’ search; halved. 6th.—-Five mutches to light my pipe ; Horace finds the hall; halved. 7th. —I lose the ball I had found; 1 down. Sth.- I ..ii* a mashle; well up and one to play. 9th.- —Horace draws his stipend; I hand in the mashie: result 1 down. I am disappointed that Ixird Forster’s handicap in Marbles has not been cabled to us. Sport is playing such a great part in the government of a sporting nation like the British that these details are necessary. I notice that Australia gets an ex-cricketer while we are to have an ex-footballer, but. so far wc do not know Lord Jellicoo’s golf handicap. If it is not equal to or better than plus 2 the Colonial Office should hear about it. • . * * » * • (To an American Air.) Ob. say can you see in a perilous plight Him so proudly we haded with our bands and our cheering. Whose bright words and quick tongue in the conscription fight Were the joy of us all; but he now is appearing Guile bereft of reply When’ h:-'s caught on the fly In his seat when a patriot singer nearby Declares that the Star Spangled Banner yet waves O’er the land of the free, both (he good and the knaves. From the Hawaiian shore in the midst of proud airs. Comes the anthem, but. Mannix in silence reposes While all others respectful leap up from their chairs To salute the n ld song that is sung through our noses. When he’s asked to explain And he cudgels his brain Th e best, lie can do is "I don’t know that strain Called the Star-Spangled Banner is redly Yank melody For it sounded so horribly English to me.” And thus is it ever when men like this stand Twixt Yankee and British and try explanations, With anaemic excuses, he they ever so bland, That will mix up the music of these two proud nations. For what could one do More to rile a Yank true. Than in say that his music seemed English to you? For the Star-Spangled Banner quite jealously must wave O’er the very tender-skinned ns well as o’er the brave.