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Southland Times, Issue 1738, 9 May 1873, Page 3

A music teacher was tried in the " scales" and found wanting. A young man being aßkod if he was a professional tobacco smoker, replied, " No ; am-a-ehwer." A young lady of Bixteen, who had worn ehort dresses all her life, positively told her mamma that she would wear them " no longer." A'gentleman subject to the gout being told by his doctor that the disease gave a long lease of life, replied, " That may be so, but unluckily the lease is a rack-rent." The gentleman co often spoken of in novels, who riveted people with his gaze, has obtained employment in a boiler manufactory, with extra pay, on account of his peculiar faculty. " Poor old General Debility ! " exclaimed Mrs Partington, "it is surprising how long he lives, and what excitement he creates ; the papers are full of remedies for him." One of Hartford's popular dry -goods merchants was asked the other day how be spent hie eveningß. His reply was, "At night 1 store my mind, and during the day I mind my store." He waß alive at last accounts.