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Southland Times, Issue 1643, 4 October 1872, Page 3

A Missouri editor advertises to take corn in pay for his paper. He says he prefers to have it in a liquid state, but will take it in. the ear if he can't get it otherwise. A young lady was looking at a picture representing a pair of lovers in a boat, with the arm of the lover gently enfolding the •sraist of his Dulcinea, when she innocently remarked, " How natural !" A man courting a young woman was interrogated as to his occupation. " I am a paperhanger on a large acale," he replied. He was accepted as a suitor, and after marriage it was found that he was a bill-sticker. " Indeed you are handsome," said a gentleman to his lad y- love. " Pooh ! pooh !" said she, " so you would say if you did not think so." " And so you'd think," he answered, " if I did not say so." A man of Geneva, Illinois, fell into the river and after swimming awhile beneath the ice he arrived at an opening and Crawled OUt. He managed to preserve his coolness all the time. A fashionable mother's advice to a newly-married daughter : "Do not get in the habit of taking your husband with you to evening parties. Nothing is so stupid as a husband at a party, or so everlastingly in the way." A carpenter, being asked for a riddle propounded the following : — " I picked it up I couldn't find it ; I put it down and went along with it." No one could guess it. It was a splinter in his foot. A bright little girl at Milton, Wisconsin, having been desired to write a sentence introducing the word " carrion," presented the following to her teacher : — " Bad children often carrion in church when they ought; to be quiet." It is said that small pieces of nonresinous wood can be perfectly seasoned by boiling them four or five hours, the wood shrinking one tenth in the operation. Trees felled in full leaf, in June or July, and allowed to lie till their leaves are all fallen, will be almost dry, the leaves not dropping off till they have exhausted the sap of the tree. The time required is a month or six weeks, according to the weather.