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Southland Times, Issue 1632, 13 September 1872, Page 3

A Chicago congregation pricked up its ears when the minister said, " I have land to sell ;" but dropped off to sleep when he added, " that beautiful land on high." A. Californian hunter, who went 10 miles to a place where game was plentiful, found that he had brought a box of pills instead of percussion caps. He returned home in disgust. M. Prudhomme, in the decline of life, was talking with his nephew, to whom he related stories of his youth. " But, uncle" snddenly exclaimed the young man, " what struck you most daring your life." " My dear boy, it waa tout aunt !'* How to <4 I7TET A Bust. — A farmer, who had passed innumerable sleepless nights immortalised himself by discovering a method of keeping babies quiefc. The mode of operation is as follows :— " As soon as the squaller wakes, set it up, propped by a pillow if it can't sit alone ; then smear its fingers with thick treacle ; then put half-a-dozen feathers in itshands, and it will sit and pick the feathers from one hand to the other till it drops asleep. As soon as it wakes up again treacle and more feathers, and in place of the nerve-astounding yella there will be silence and enjoyment unspeakable."