LETTER TO THE EDITOR.

Southland Times, Issue 1603, 9 July 1872, Page 2

LETTER TO THE EDITOR.

" COSMOPOLITAN.' " Where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise." Sir, — I hare read that production of " Cosmopolitan," in the News of the 26th ult., and am glad to see that at least he enjoys one blessing — he is not conscious of " rats ia the garret." So far bo good. Should his attic be occupied by those noxious and troublesome creatures, he would be happy at all events in his ignorance of the fact. Self-evidence is of no yalue in the case of a non compos mentis — a man could scarcely be said to be conscious of his madness. If our friend " Cosmopolitan" were ever thus afflicted, 1 hope whilst I address him he is in the possession of a lucid interval. " : It is said " che study of man is man." That is now not merely a progressive science ; the number of distinct theories is multiplied. -I don't know if " Cosmop." is a disciple of the Darwin school. I presume, however, he ia familiar with the theory of the monkey and the man. Who knows but that our friend " Cosmop." will contribute to the literature and enlightenment of the nineteenth century by starting a new theory, say of the cat and the man ? If be should he would soon settle the difficulty of " the rats in the garret," nor would such a theory be more ridiculous than Darwin's. The great difficulty with Darwin, a 9 everyone knows, wa» the difficulty of the tail, and a very serious difficulty it was. Now our new philosopher has a firmer basis to work on — a surer and more encouraging ground of hope for a successful future, when we consider that the cat is what the monkey is not — a very useful as well as a domestic animal. " Cosmopolitan" were on the road to fame, But the bashful man conceals his name. I did not intend this last sentence for poetry : it is nothing more than a little versification. I would be afraid oi " Cosmop.," who seems more ambitious to be looked upon as a critic than poet — possibly he has chosen the better part. I must not, however, make too little of myself (extremes are bad). It is as good as one of Dryden's first efforts. When chastised by his father for making verses, he cried, " Father, father, pity on me take, And never more shall I verses make." So you see Poet a nascitur non Jit. But we must not lose sight of our new philosophy. I admit the cat has ita faults (n»t long since I had to drown one), but who is faultless ? No man ereu as distinguished from the cat. " Cosmopolitan" himself pleads guilty to shortcomings, and invites us to remember the counsel, "he that is without sin amongst you, let him cast the first stone." " Cosmop.," methinks, has fair data for his new theory, and acted wisely in not propounding and publishing it to mankind in simple and absolute propositions. He looks a more cautious philosopher than Darwin. " Cosmop." is worth waiting for ; he will indoctrinate us step by step. But as we hope he is not unworthy of the modern school and times — has more important premises to begin with than the reasonings which settle the difficulty of tails, and has at the same time tolerably demonstrated by similarity of disposition, as well as by a spirit of enquiry after rats (his relationship with the feline tribe), he may commit his philosophy any day to print. By way of giving him a wrinkle, I would advise him to take the conclusio for his major proposition— omnis homo est cat — the work is then accomplished, and his theory established. lam afraid, though, he has not read his Logics. Indeed, the very first sentence of bis letter excites my suspicion not a little, in which he says, " There was no foundation for the paragraph that evoked his anger." I know he did not intend ambiguity in that sentence ; if he did, he would have succeeded very cleverly, and almost equalled that celebrated oracle, " aio te posse vincere Romano*? which admits of either ol two interpretations, viz., " I say you can conquer the Romans," or, " The Romans conquer you." As " Cosmo-

politan" thirsts for more knowledge and iriadom than what is implied in the adage, " Where ignorance is bliss," Ac, I would direct him where he might quench hi 9 thirst but for that the correspondence — cv jus pars the rats — is now closed. Yes ; I could send him to a man more honest than himself, apparently as well if not better educated, who neither presumes to be a Chesterfield nor apeß a Dundreary, and who does not want to feign ignorance of old «ayines which wfre common-plare before " Cosmop." blessed the world with Ms first visit, From the labor and length of his 1-tter, it is onlr fair to suppose he must have been pleased with himself. Well, and that's a good thing, and I think the fiddler who was asked whether he ■would rather play the tune that would please ■others or the tune that would please himself, was right when he said "he would rather play to ■please himself." I am curious enough to know where "Cosmopolitan" graduated. If I knew perhaps I would have more respect for him ; but in charity, I feel bound to advise him to prosecute the study of polite literature with more assiduity before undertaking the thankless office of preceptor to his censorious neighbors.. I would, moreover, suggest the propriety of greater pains being taken in future in the selection of words as well as figures of speech, for his proficiency in these branches is by no means «» fait accompli. I hope we shall hear no more of the noxious ■vermin. As to that naughty little word " rot" — if " Cosmopolitan" is not able to swallow it, I would advise him to keep his own opinion, as I intend keeping mine ; besides, as he boasts of so familiar an acquaintance with the bullock-drivers of Victoria, he is of course better informed. By the bye, I can't help thinking he must be miserably off for similes from the sample he has given us. One would not wonder, if " Cosmop." did not profess to be a man of cultivated manners and refinement, possessed too of a very delicate •ensibility, and whose taste, by the way, (or the Jvaesse is so easily offended. I think, however, there is neither beauty nor delicacy in that simile of the Beast and the red rag, and yet he accuses me of coarseness, — too bad ! However, I forgive him, for I like the general tone of his letter. I admire it as it professes to advocate what I admire myself — liberality. If such is the spirit of " Cosmop.," or " Cosmop. & C 0.," I am happy to •ay we are, so far, one in spirit, and that no one loveß liberality more, or will watch its progress with more anxious interest than I. — Your?, &c, J. Cakdbit.