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Southland Times, Issue 1525, 16 January 1872, Page 2

Man over-bored — An editor. A rooted sorrow — The toothache. Woman — She spoiled us with an apple, but atoned for the wrong by forming a "pair." Why is buttermilk like something which never happened ? Because it hasn't a curd (occurred). They tell of a man out west whose hair is so red that he has to wear fly-nets over his head to ljeep the candle moths from flying in. The young men at the American water-ing-places have discarded white vests. The young ladies use so much oil OQ their hair that a vest is only good for one evening on, the piazza. A man in Cleveland broke his thigh by kicking off a boot. It i 8 not stated whether his wife was talking to him at the time about coming home in that condition. • Have you seen my black faced antelope?' inquired the keeper of a menagerie. 'No/ said the visitor ; ' whom did your black faced aunt elope with ?' Alcohol was first invented, and used to stain the cheeks of the ladies of Arabia, 920 years ago. It still reddens portions of the human face. The highest farm in the world is on the Union Pacific Railroad, and is 8000 feet above the sea level. It raises good vegetables and grain crops. A dyspeptic read that by sending a dollar by mail he would receive a cure for dyspepsia. He sent the money, and received a slip with the following printed on it, 'Stop drinking and hoe in the garden.' The man was mad at first, then laughed and finally went hoeing, and stopped drinking, and is as well as ever. Mr. D. D. Home, the spiritualist, was recently married to the youngest daughter of his Excellency the late Hon. Basil de Grloumeline, Councillor of State to the Emperor of Russia. It has been officially ascertained that the number of French soldiers killed ia battle, or who died of wounds in the last war, was 29,000.