MISCELLANEOUS.

Southland Times, Issue 1218, 4 March 1870, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS.

"Wffd Pound It ?— A lawyer at a circuit to'w'Si in Ireland dropped a tenpound note tinder the table, while playing cards afitte inn. He did not discover his loss until he was going to bed, but then returned immediately. On reaching the room, he was met by the waiter, who j said, " I know what you want, sir ; you have lost something." — " Tes I have lost a ten-pound note." — " "Well, sir, I have found it, and here it is." — " Thanks, my good lad ; here is a sovereign for you." — "No, sir, I want no reward for being honest, but " — looking at him with a knowing grin — " wasn't it lucky none of the gentlemen found it." The rudeness of Dr Parr to ladies was sometimes extreme. To & lady who had ventured to oppose him with more warmth of temper than cogency of reasoning, and j who afterwards apologized for herself by saying, " that it is the privilege of woman to talk nonsense." " No, madam, " replied the doctor, "it is not their privilege, but their infirmity. Ducks would walk if they could ; but nature suffers them only to waddle." Success in life is very apt to make us forget the time when we wern't much. It is just so with a frog on a. jump ; he can't remember* when he was a tadpole, but other folks can. Saving the Shock. — A debtor who owed eight thousand pounds offered his creditor eight bills of a thousand pounds each, payable on the first of eight con- ; secutive months, which were accepted. The first bill was protested on its coming , due, and on the creditor's asking the debtor for an explanation, the latter said, " The fact is, my friend, I can't pay you i anything, and divided up the debt into small portions to save you the shock of losing it all at once." i Lady (at Sunday school) : "And what do you understand by the pomps and vanities of this wicked world ?" The head of the class: "The flowers in your bonnet, teacher." Brigham Young declares that one of the privileges of Mormondom is a happy exemption from medical attendance. For 40 years he nas never had a doctor in his house. He has observed that at Salt Lake they had no sickness until doctors arrived. The King of Prussia has lately reprieved the notorious murderer Wittmann, who was sentenced to death, and commuted his punishment to imprisonment with hard labour for life. As this criminal had been proved guilty of making away with his four wives, one after another, andhistwo children, from purely avaricious motives, it is supposed (the North German Correspondent says) that this act of clemexwy is a sign that no more capital sentences will be carried out in Prussia, ana that the punishment of death will shortly be abolished by law. . A few years ago General Grant was a drunkard on the streets. His friends set him up in the wood and coal trade, but he drank away wood, coal, and credit. Then he became a common street hawker, carrying wood from the place where it ■was disembarked into the town. Having become somewhat more sober, his father offered him a place in his tanyard, and there Ulysses Grant worked until the war. That event was the making of him in every ~way. He put restraint upon himself, and soon shewed such military skill that he rose rapidly from step to step until he became Commander-in-Chief. Although he has given up drinking, he is a most inveterate smoker. A down-east girl being bantered one day by some of her female friends, in regard to her lover, who had the misfortune to have but one leg, replied, " Pooh, I wouldn't have a man with two legs, they're too common !"