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Southland Times, Issue 1202, 28 January 1870, Page 3

"Now then, Joseph, parse courting." said a teacher to a rather slow boy. " Courtin' is an irregular active transitive verb, indicative mood, present tense, third person, siugfular number, and so on," said Joseph. " "Well, what does it agree with ?" demanded the teacher. "It agrees with all the gals in town!" exclaimed Joseph, triumphantly. Artenius Ward once lent money. He thus recounts the transaction. .- —"A gentleman friend of mine came to me one day with tears in his eyes. I said, * Wfiy these weeps ?' He said he had a mortgage on his farm, and wanted to borrow £200. 1 lent him the money, and he went away. Some time after, he returned with more tear. He said he must leave me for ever. I ventured to remind him of the £200 he borrowed. He was much cut : I thought I would not be hard upon him — so I told him I would throw off £100. He then brightened, shook my hand, and said, * Old friend, I wont allow you to outdo me in liberality— l'll throw off the other hundred!" Smokers will be glad to learn that an antidote to nicotine has been discovered. M. Armand, a French savant, has stated to the Academy of Sciences that he has discovered a sure antidote to nicotine in the common watercress. It destroys the poisonous effects of nicotine, and yet does not alter the aroma of tobacco. A solution of watercress may therefore be employed for steeping the leaves of tobacco, and would thus divest them of their noxious properties, and, moreover, a draught of the same will act as a sure antidote to nicotine. In the face of this important discovery, anti-tobacco societies will no longer have any excuse for the affectionate interest they have hitherto displayed in the health of smokers, or for the lavish abuse they have so freely bestowed upon their victims.