Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

Southland Times, Issue 1114, 16 August 1869, Page 3

Taking it Bather Coolt. — Old Squire Hopkins was a perfect picture of meekness and simplicity, and his stuttering seemed the effect of bashful neas rather than inherit physical defect. One day a neighbor came to buy a yoke of oxen of him. The price was named, and proving satisfactory, the cattle made their appearance. " are they breachy ?" asked the buyer, " N-n never t-t troubled me," was the reply. The other paid the price and took the yoke. In a day or two he came back in a towering passion. " Confound these critters, squire — there ain't no fence that will keep 'em ! They j will break through a stone wall, jump over the moon. Whatthedickensmadeyou tell me they wasn't breachy?' ' I didn't say j n-n-no such thing." Yes you did — you said they never troubled you." " Oh, w-well neighbor," said the squire, " I don't let such th-thing as that ever ttrouble me." The buyer sloped. Hair thieves. — An American paper states that in consequence of the demand for bair of peculiar colours and shades, a new branch of " klpetic industry " has sprung up in New York. It appears that the hair thief abuonda in the horse cars of the city, where the excuse of putting his elbow on the window enables him to operate with greater ease ; but he is also to be found in every place of public gathering, the church included. The tresses dangling behind the head are his easy prey. Bringing in a Voter. — One of the physicians of Burlington, Vermont, driving into town election morning, was met by a friend, who hailed him with the question if he had voted. " Not yet," said the doctor ; " but I been out all night after a, voter. I got him safe, too." "When will he vote. " Oh, about 21 years from now.', — ' American Paper ' ? Too Bad ! — A Boston exchange is responsible for the following story : — A short time since a man appeared at the Boston City Hall, requesting an interview with the Chief of the Police. " What can I do for you ?" " Yes." " Can I speak to you privately ?" " Yes — speak out !" " Will no one hear us ?" " No." " Are you sure?" " Yes "" Well then, listen. As I was crossing the Common last night, about twelve o'clock. I saw a woman approach the pond with a baby in her arms, looking carefully round all the while to see if she was followed, and then, when right at the edge, stopped and ' ' " Threw the child into the Frog pond!" exclaimed the appalled officer, his face white with horror. No, replied his visitor : " washed its fac'o f" i