SCRAPS FROM THE COMIC. JOURNALS.

Southland Times, Issue 1038, 14 October 1868, Page 3

SCRAPS FROM THE COMIC. JOURNALS.

• ♦ (From the ' Tomahawk') ON TBIAL.— THE HOUSE OF LOEDS. The commissioners recently appointed to enquire into "the utility and general working capacity of the House of Lords, with a view, &c, &c.,-"held their first sittings yesterday. The portion of the room assigned to the public was densely crowded. The first witness examined was the Earl of Milkwater. He said: He was twenty-three years of age. Had been inside the House of Peers twice; thinks once was for a bet. Had been educated. Had gone to Eton, and then to Oxford ; when there was at Christ's Church. Did not take a degree, but instead wore a velvet cap with gold tassel, and kept horses. "Wore also a ribbed silk gown. On high days wore a rich figured silk, covered with large gold patches, and dined at a high table with " Dons." Tes, on these occasions he took precedence of venerable men of world-wide fame and exalted position in the Church. He was nineteen, they must have been over sixty. No, tha£ style of thing was not thoughtsnobbish at the University. Everybody cringed to him. At Eton fie had got well kicked once ; think it did him good. Oxford, however, made up for that. Tes, had been set upon by toadies and snobs. Thought the University encouraged that style of thing. Liked it. Spent £5,000 at Oxford, and left when he was twentyone. Tes, he had lots of ancestors. The founder of his race, was not a grocer who bought the title of James I. for £350. Dates back much further, than that. His family came over with the Conqueror. Name, De Spoon. See all about ifc-ia ; "Burke." Boger de Spoon may haver been a boot-cleaner who could not pick up an honest living in Normandy, and so worked his passage across &s steward on "William's ship. Tes, that was what he meant by coming over with the Conqueror. Thought that an excellent reason why he should have a seat in the House of Lords. Considered it " great fun "tobe an hereditary legislator. Did not care what was disestablished as long as it was not TattersalTs. No, did not know there had been a row in the Commons about the Irish Church. Should vote against the Suspensory Bill, because young what's-his-name wants a berth over there in the clerical line. Has no prejudices on the question. "Would give the commissioners long odds on the result. Supposes the House of Lords is a " grand institution." Saw something about "thanking God there was a House of Lords " in last week's •Bells Life,' and thought it great fun. Shall send up his vote by proxy. Does not care what comes of the question. Imagines it would not interfere with grouse-shooting, the Derby-day, or Eotten-row. Knows some good fellows in the Commons. Thinks they talk too much. Tes, has heard of "Oliver Cromwell." He ran fifth for the Chester Cup in '61. Tes, that was all he had got to say. Did not know much about 'the British constitution, but supposed, as the papers made such a fuss about it, it must be something radical and low. Tes, his position and influence were two of the blessings of the British constitution. Thought himself an average specimen of a young peer. Would give | odds to the commissioners on the event, if they liked. Thought the ' Times' snobbish, and the British public a set of asses. Hoped the commissioners would excuse him, as he was down for some pigeon-shooting at three. Another statue to the Prince Consort ! We think Mr Oppenheim might have' found some better object for his generosity. When we consider the number of poor persons who are obliged to live in fever dens because there are no decent houses built for them ; when we consider the number of hospitals which are compelled to beg for funds, it does make us wrathful to see a large sum of money wasted on an expensive caricature in marble of a man whose memory certainly will never decay for want of similar honors, and who, if he could come out of the grave, would be the first to protest against the persistent sycophancy that cannot even let the dead rest.