MISCELLANEOUS.

Southland Times, Issue 1033, 5 October 1868, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

♦ Dubious Law Suit. — At a late court, a man and his wife brought cross actions, each charging the other with having committed assault and battery. On investigation it appeared that the husband had pushed the door against his wife, and the wife, in turn, pushed the door against her husband. A gentleman of the bar remarked, "he could Bee no impropriety in a man and his wife a-doreing each other." At Paris a priest asked a coachman if ha ever greased bis horses' teeth to prevent them from eating their oate. He replied in the negative, but returned a week after, and confessed that malpractice. " Why," said the priest, "you told me a short time ago that you had never pcr r formed this trick." "I certainly had not, good father," replied the coachman, "for I never heard of it until you told me." * A Newly Abbitbd Emigbamt ik America, ■ in soliciting work, stated that he wanted the money he hoped to earn to send home to Ireland [ "where," he added, "I have a wife arid! seven children, and never saw one of them;" This seemed such a bold and stupid lie that the person to whom he was making application for wori angrily exclaimed, " How dare you tell me bucl stuff ! How could you have a wife and seven r children in Ireland without ever having seen one T of them*?—" — " Because your honor, the one] - never saw was born after I sailed for Ameriky." Thinkino Alike. — On one occasion, when the late Bishop of Lichfield >ad spoken on the , importance of diligent, painstaking preparatioi * for the pulpit, a verbose young clergyman said - "Why, my Lord, I often go to the vestry eve* 1 without knowing what teJrtl jhall preach upon

yet I go- up and preach an extempore termon j and think nothing of it." Th» Bishop replied, " Ah, well, that agrees with what I hear from your people j for they hear' your sermon, and they also think nothing of it." A Good Siobt is told concerning the writing of Mr J. W, Brooks, the great railroad manager. He had written a letter to a man on the Central Route, notifying to him that, under the penalty of prosecution, he must remove a barn which in some manner incommoded the roid. The" threatened individual was unable to read any : part of the letter but the signature, but took it to be a free pass on the road, and used it for a couple of years' as such,- none of the conductors being able to dispute his interpretation of the dooument.