MISCELLANEOUS.

Southland Times, Issue 1007, 21 August 1868, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

Copy of a sign on an academy out west : — Freeman & Huggs : Freeman teaches the boys and Huggs the girls. A clergyman said he addressd his congregation of ladies and gentlemen as brethren, because the " brethren " embraced the ladies. " You need a little sun and air," said the doctor to a maiden patient. " Must I not wait till I get a husband ? " she asked. Flattery is bad coin, which can be passed only upon fools. Politican — A stary dog that runs up to every one he sees, and wags hisself all over. Mankind has been learning for six thousand years, and yet how few have learned that their fellow-beings are as good as themselves. Toast. — The Ladies — Their eyes kindle the only flames which we cannot extinguish, and against which there is no insurance. What is the worst seat to hold one up ? Self conceit. Favorite airs of mammas with marriageable daughters— MiUionairs. Luck hes in bed biding his time, while Labor turns out to vigorous work aud makes his fortune. The Hon and the lamb sometimes he down together, but the lamb inside the hon. Too many men no more carry their religion into their business than they would wear a life preserver in the parlor. The tongue makes deeper wounds than the teeth. Lady Peaotioal Jokers.— A very distinguished party were recently the guests of the Marquis de Brevanne,in the Chateau of Brevanne, m the neighbourhood of Trouville. The ladies of the party being bored, resolved, somewhat ungratefully in order to amuse themselves, to play off a joke upon their host. So one night they placed a quantity of flour between the sheets of his bed. At his customary hour the Marquis retired to rest ; but the strange substance astonished him, and he jumped up. He found himself as w hite as a miller from haad to foot. A few moments' reflection convinced him that he was the victim of a trick. He coolly rang for his valet, made the man scrape him and wash him, an d change the sheets. Then he returned to hed* The next morning he said not a word of w hat had happened. Three evenings after, he proposed a drive to a small shooting lodge in the neighbourhood, where there was a splendid view ; and when he got there, he offered the ladies tea. The cake served with the tea was extraordinarily good, and the fair dames did ample justice to it. ' They declared that they never had seen anything like it in Paris. " Yet nothing would be more simple than to make such cakes," said the Marquis. ''First take your flour," continued he with all the solemnity of a cookery book, " and then roll a man it." The ladies looked aghast. " Tes, ladies, the cake is made of the flour in which it was your pleasure I should be whitened the other night." "Horrible ! shocking !" screamed they. The Franchise for Women. — Lady Anna Gore Langton.wife of the member for West Somerset, daughter of the late Duke of Buckingham, and heiress presumptive to a peerage in her own right (that of the earldom of Temple and Sto we), has signed a petition praying that married women and widows duly qualified as ratepayers, &c, might be admitted to the privilege of voting for members of Parliament. Petitions on the subject have been signed by 13,497 persons. The movement is supported by persons of every variety of opinion and creed, viz., Lady Amber-ey, Sir George Bowyer, Mrs. Somerville, Sir Bowland Hill, The O'Donoghue, Mary Howitt, Lord Eomily, Lady Goldsmid, Bey. C. Kingsley, Sir J. Simpson, M.D. (who introduced chloroform to the world) ; Goldwin Smith, &c. Sir B. Palmer, Hon. G. Denman, Q.C., and other legal gentlemen have given it as their opinion that, by the common law of England, women possessing the necessary property qualification are entitled to the suffrage. Mr. C. Anstey proves from old Parliament and legal records that single women and widows in England, who were freeholders in counties and burgesses of boroughs, had anciently a right to vote for members of Parliament, and that they frequently exercised that right up to the time ofthe great civil wars. At the present day in Austria, in the Crown and hereditary lands of the Empire, all females, if landed proprietors, possess votes just the same as males. By the Swedish Beform Bill passed in December, 1865, a widow or single woman of full age, if possessing more than £22 a-year, can vote in the election of members of the Upper Chamber. No Influence. — A man in a blouse once said, "I have no more influence than a farthing rushlight." "Well," was the reply, " a farthing rushlight can do a great deal : it can set a haystack on fire, it can burn down a house ; yea, more it will enable a poor creature to read a chapter in God's Book. Oro your way, friend $ let your rushlight so shine before men that others, seeing your good works, may glorify your Father which is in Heaven." A Cheerful View of Things. — "How dismal you look 2" said a bucket to its companion as they were going to the well. " Ah," replied the other, " I was reflecting on the ÜBelessness of our being filled, for let us go away ever so full, we always come back empty." " Dear me! how strange to look at it in that way!" said the other bucket,* "Now, I enjoy the thought that, however empty we come, we always go away full. Only look at it in that Ight, and you'll be as cheerful as I am." You may joke when you please, if you are careful to please when you joke. If a small boy is a lad, a big boy must be a ladder. "What is the largest room in the world ? The room for improvement. Why do birds in their little nests agree ? Be- | canse| they'd fall out if they didn't.