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Southland Times, Issue 668, 10 May 1867, Page 3

■ i — — — — — "'!,'■■'■ A "Shopping," SecSei poi Husbands.— Archdeacon Paley, in one of- his familiar discourses, touching upon the .expenses brought upon husbands and -fathers, in the way of cambrics , and safifis^says— "l never let my women (be it underßtobd, he. Bppke. of Mrs Archdeacon Paley arid the Misses r Payley), "when they shop take credit. I always! msikerlthenv, jay readylmoney, Sir'; ready money ib such a, check upon' the imagination." „ I* your neighbor's offence is rank, don't let yours be rancor. ••■ ■ ■■ Geikomnb shoppers, who never buy, are known in the trade ,aa counter-irritants. ■ „• . Toil ■ Mooch compared love to a potato, " because it shoots from the eyes:" "Or rather,", exclaimed Byron, "because it beoomes less by paring." 'It was a good retort, made in reply to the argument used by a champion of pubho sbhools, that Byron was a Harrow boy. "He was, and Burns was a ploughboy." ; . Why is a waiter like a. racehorse P' Because he runs for plates and cups. . What sort of cookery does a young lady prefer ? Dressing her hair (hare). '•'-■■ What day in the year do women talk the . least P The shortest day. Why is the suspension of the Habeas Corpus Act in Ireland beneficial to the Fenians ? Because it quickens their apprehension. '/* : What is the dietebbnob betweei^.a spendthrift and a feather bed? One is hard tip and the other is soft down. r . What did the spider do when he came out of the a;k } Se took a fly end wen* home,