Page 3 Advertisements Column 2

Southland Times, Issue 653, 5 April 1867, Page 3

A Mi-TBiMONiA-i Mem.— How often do we find that a man's better-halt give him no quarter ? If you were to ride on a donkey what fruit would you resemble ?— A pear. The leaves that least become a warrior's brow are leaves of absence. If a toper and a gallon of whisky were left together, which would be drunk first ? What nobleman should stand highest in the peerago of Ireland? — Lord Mountgarret. ! Why is the end of a sermon like a revolution ? i — There is a general rising of the people. i Phelim explains that his wife and he fell out I because they are of one mmd — she wants to be master and .so does he. Water isn't a fashionable beverage for drinking your friend's health j but it's capital for drinking your own. A debating society has Under consideration the question, ** Is it wrong to cheat a lawyer ? '* The result is expected to be "No j but impossible." Why are schoolmaster and sohoolboy like dog and cat P— -Because one is the canin' species and the other is feolin'. A rascally old bachelor says the most difficult surgical operation in the world is to take the jaw oul of a woman, t : I met her in the sunset bright, her gtogham gown was blue j her eyes, that danced with pure delight, were of the same dear hue. And always when the eun goes down, I think of the girl m thegingham gown. . . ,_. When does* att Irishman mest resembfe ft, $c^h-«ajEi ?*«Wh£ whf n he IP kilt MtMjrt