MISCELLANEOUS.

Southland Times, Issue 640, 6 March 1867, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

♦ A citizen of New Hartford tells that the firs time he attended church, a little four-year«old, was seated in a pew. Upon his coming home he was asked what he did in church, when he replied, " I went into a cupboard, and took a seat on the shelf." Progress. — The most successful progress is that of the man who rolls the wheelbarrow, for. he carries all before him. A MAN being awakened by the captain of a passage-boat with the announcement that he must not occupy his berth with his boots on, very considerately replied, " Oh, it won't hurt 'em ; they're an old pair." ; - r • A Canadian newspaper contains the following plaintive advertUement : — " Will the gentleman who stole my melons on hist Sabbath night be generous enough to return me a few of the seeds, as the melons are a rare variety." An Irish coroner, remarking on the recent excessive mortality in his county, said he could not account for it,' but it was a fact that great numbers of persons had died this year who had not died last. A Perfect brute's opinion of pic-nicsj " They are variegated fooleries. They are sultry stupidities. They are elaborated funeral processions, marching with melancholy step between rows of pies, and cakes, and icecreams. A HTTLE fellow, not more than five years of age, hearing some gentleman at his father's table discussing the fami'iar line. "An honest man's the noblest work of God," said he knew it wasn't true ; his mother was better than any man that was ever made.