THE CLERKS AND TWINS.

Southland Times, Volume III, Issue 220, 23 February 1866, Page 3

THE CLERKS AND TWINS.

(From Once a Week.) Two debutantes on a drawing-room day could not have been more excited, than Uamsay and myself as we made our first bow to the fair Miss Crumps : fair indeed they were— more than "fair, surpassingly beautiful. They we?e evidently twins, for at a first glance it was impossible to detect the slightest difference in form or feature. Their beauty was of a dazzling order — each possessed the same graceful figure, the same rounded bust, small hands, and faultless arms. Bach head was wreathed with thick rolls of suubright goJder hair, giving a classic finish to their profiles. Their eyes, like their father's, were dark and melting, shaded with dark lashes, rarely met with when the hair is light — and looking all the t'arker for their brilliant complexions. IS T o one who had seen those eyes could ever forget them, so strange was their expression. Keith er of the twins could direct their eyes simultaneously on one object. This obliquity of vision was equally disfiguring to each of the twins ; in the mildest language they squinted — squinted fearfully. But Nature never does anything without a reason, and here | she had placed the only distinguishing ; mark between the sisters ; . the eyes of oae b#d m s-atipatbji those [of tbe f?tj*e?

a partiality for each other — in plain terms Greraldine's eyes turned to the nose, Aimee's away fromifc^— Aimeee squinted out — G-efaldine squinted in. — At the dinner table Ramsay was seated next Greraldine : Aimee was my coinpaion; and though the cuisine was as excellent as usual, and the wines as rare, I must confess that I thought more of the fair girl beside me than of:' the delicacies before me, and Ramsay seemed more occupied with his neighbor than with his knife and fork. In a short time we were all on the most friendly terms ;' Ramsay, as usual, taking the lead ?n the conversation, and keeping all alive with his witty sallies. He found his match in Greraldine, who was no mean hand at repartee, whilst I. conversed in lower tones' with Aimee, who was more retiring than her sister ; and though our communications were not as brilliant, or our laughter as loud, I flatter' myself that we enjoyed ourselves quite as much as the noiser pair ; their good father seemed to enjoy himself as much' as any of us, and to look with no angry eye upon the intimacy which had sprung up so exotieally between his twin heiresses- and his two poor clerks. —" What lovely girls !" I exclaimed, as we started on out walk back to Liverpool. — ; ' Lovely," was Rimsay's reply. — " What a piy they should squint," I observed.— " What a grumbler you are,, Percy ! Why, if their eyes were straight they would not be women ; and you know that ' the loves of the angels ' are not considered correct. I must say I prefer an inward squint."—'' What a sweet name is Aimee," I suggested, rather hurt at the lust remark. "Sweet name, indeed! What a romantic old fellow it is. I hate romance ; and so I will rechristen the Miss Crumps on 'the spot — from henceforth let them be, ' Eyes in ' and ' Eyes out ' — ' Eyes in ' for ever, say I ; there's no nonsense about her, I can see." — " I suppose you mean to insinuate that there is some nonsense about her sister — if so, I think your remark impertinent," said I, very much palled. " Hurrah ! I have got a rise out of you at last. I thought you were rather spooney ; but I had no idea things had gone so far, old boy. I shall have to write to the governor and break to him the sad news that his son is in love with an out-cast." 1 could not help laughing at the wretched pun, and reached our lodgings quite exhausted, for my brother clerk was in wild spirits, and his jokes had kept me in a perpetual roar. Another cigar and another chat over the oblique-eyed beauties sent us to bed to dream, — Robert, of two glorious eyes engaged in an amicable staring-match ; myself, of two bright orbs struggling to avoid each other's glances. Invitations to Rosebank became more and more frequent. Weeks flew faster than ever, now that our labors were rewarded by smiles from the beautiful twins. Was it to be wondered at, then, that we both fell over head and ears in love ? I felt sure that our feelings were reciprocated, at least it was evident that G-eraldine was never happy unless Robert was by her side, and I f mcied that Amee's

eyes grew brighter when I approar-hed. This pleasant state of affairs lasted for three or four months, and yet neither of us had breathed a word of love, however much our looks had betrayed us. At length one bright summer evening the happy quartette strolled into the garden after dinner in search of the river breeze, leaving old Crump to write some letters. By some accident we separated ; Geraldine and Bob taking one path, Aimee and myself another. An inward sensation told me that my hour was come : I gave a twitch to my wristbands, and a tug at my collar, and plunged in median °res. There is no occasion to chronicle here my words or actions ; it will be enough for the purpose of this true history to say, that I returned to the house the happiest mau in creation, for Aimee had promised to be my wife. My heart and step were 'light as I 'left Eosebank that evening, and I could not help observing that there was an unsual elasticity in Rimsay's tread. I detected him also repeatedly smiling to himself, an insanity of which I found myself equally guilty. I tried conversation, but our questions and answers were perfectly inappropriate, and at last I thought it best to be silent, though I longed to tell him of my happiness. But Aimee had asked me not to mention our engagement till I had spoken' to her father, and I meant to be discreet. "I can bottle it up no longer, old boy," cried Ramsay, suddenly, "I must make a clean breast of it. I have proposed to Geraldme, and what's more, have been taken at my word." — " What a strange coincidence, Bob ! Why, I have proposed to Aimee, and have been accepted." " Give me your hand, brother-ia-law ! I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart, — are not we lucky dogs, you and I? Thank the gooseberries for 'my good fortune ! " " Gooseberries ! are you cracked ? "— " Yes ! Gooseberries, it was all that gooseberry bush. I suppose I must explain, or you will think me a gooseberry fool. Well, Geraldine andlhave long had our eyes on a particularly fine bush, and we thought that the fruit would be ripe enough to-day for our de?3ert : we were right; they were delicious, aud as Geraldine and I were bending over the bush, our faces touched each other, accidentally, upon my honour. The result may be left to your imagination, and Geraldine, in her endeavours to punish rae for my temerity scratched her poor little hand with a thorn. I grew bolder, and seizing the wounded member refused to let it go till she had promised to let it be ray property. I'll wager, old fellow, that your little affair was more sentimental. Where did you propose ? " " Amongst the roses." -" I thought as much, Percy, you are so sweetly senti-, mental; but let's have the particulars.*' — - — " 1 have nothing to tell, except that Aime'e promised in the rosary to be raj own dear wife. But tell me, Bob, do you think their father will give his consent ?" *— " Of course he will ! ha will be only too

glad to hear that we have come to a de cision. so speedily." "I hope he wil not think that I love Aimee for he: monej. Heaven" knows, if she was penni less, I should love her all the same !" — " You might love her, but you would not marry her — stick to prose, Percy. Crump has more money than he can manage to spend, and he wishes us to share it with him : he thinks we are two good-looking fellows, well born, well bred, and tolerably steady, and he has fixed upou us for his sons-in-law. I do not think he has shown bad taste in the selection, do you ? And as exchange is no robbery, I mean to give a pedigree as long as my arm in return for his long purse, and shall condescend to marry his danghter. ¥c will ask his consent tomorrow, and depend upon it we shall get ifc " — Bob was right. Mr. Crump offered no opposition to the double marriage. He gave us a willing c onsent, and a hearty blessing. He wished to see his daughters happily married before he died ; and he did not know two young men to whom he could so safely entrust them : we were poor, he knew that, but what did that si^nifiy ? had he not enough for twenty sons-in-law ? Prom that hour he should look upon us as his sons, and expect to be treated as our father. An then he led us j into the drawing - room, kissed his daughters, and bless id us all again. Was there ever such a Trump in the worH ? — I wrote a rapturous letter home, expatiating on Aimee's beauty, her father's kindness, and my own happiness, and begged both my father and mother to write to my financae, and offer a corner in their hearts. I pictured their joy at my prospects of happiness and prosperity as they rea.d and re-read my letter. Next morning's post brought me two letters I tore open the one from my father first aud to, to my horror and dismay, instead of finding a blessing, the letter contained a premptory order to give up all ideas ofsuch a marriage, if I ever wished to see my parents again. Did I wish to break his heart by bringing disgrace upon a family ,vhose blood shad never been polluted by a mesalliance ? Did I forget that J. was a Harrington of Fernly ? My mobhers's letter was all affection. She said that my father was very indig- j nant, but that she would do her best to i soften his antipathy to my marriage with Miss Crump. It was certainly not a connection that she would have wished for me, but as she saw that my happiness was really concerned she would love her new child for my sake. I must forgive her not writing to- Aimee just at present, as my father had forbidden her to do so ; she begged me to come home at once ; she would give me all the assistance in her power, and perhaps we two together might make him relent. She ended by sending in the postserip her love to my Aimee. 1 showed my father'sletter to Bam say, who treated the matter as a good joke ; he had no idea that my father was such a disciple of the old school ; we must open his eyes and teach him a thing or two some of these days. He suffered from the gout, did he ? That might account for his writing so severely. 1 had better

go at once to Giouceshire, and get over the governor ; he wished me good luck, but he would rather I had the job than himself; he would as soon foce a boaconstrictor as a Tory with the gout. I determined to lose no in taking his advice. I told Aimee that I must leave her for a few days, as I had some business to transact in the country. I gave her my mother's love, so that she had no suspicions that anything was wrong in that quarter ; but Mr. Crump, in giving me a ready leave of absence, bade me not to be east down even if my father stood out against the marriage, for, if the worst came to the worst, he thought a line from himself would set all straight. There was a peculiar expression on his face which showed me that I might rely on his words, though I could nob fathom them. It took me three days' hard fighting to get over my father, but I did get over him at last. My mother was my aide-de-camp, and did me great service ; she pretended to take neither side, but with a woman's cunning, always sided with me, without seeming to do so. My father persisted in declaring thatthe family escutcheon would be tarnished, and I persisted in asking what was the good of an escutcheon to a beggar, at the same time painting such a glowing picture of my Aimee's beauty and refinement, and her father's noble bearing, that I saw my words, were beginning to tell, though they were received with a semi-groan, which always terminated in the word " Crumps." The fourth day the enemy surrendered ; my father supposed he must sacrifice his frinily pride to his affection for his son, and gave his consent and his blessing. I wa,s so eager to return to Liverpool, "that my parents had not the heart to press me to remain, and I returned next day on the wings of the express, with a store o( affectionate messages for my fiancee, and polite speeches for her father. My heart was almost bursting with happiness j the train, as it rushed past towns and villages, seemed far too slow for my existence. At length the journey came to aii end, as all journeys must ; my fellow-passengers must have though me mad, as I rushed to get my portmanteau, pushing everyone unceremoniously out of my way, and the cabman must have thought me madder as I flung it into the cab, and breathlessly muttered " Eosobank: a double fare if you drive fast." — It was lucky that we met no members of a certain excellent Society to stop us in our mad carreer ; we richly deserved a summons,-for the horse was covered with foam when we drove up to Eosebank. ] threw a piece of gold into the driver' i hand, telling him to ring, and give the portmanteau to the servant. I could nol wait for the bell to be answered, bul flew round to the drawing-room ; thi windows were, as usual,' open, but th< [ room was empty. I entered, and in nn passage knocked dawn a statue and * table. I could, not stay to see wha damage I had doae, X passed tbrou^]

tLe ball, took the staircase in a feur strides, and found myself at the boudo air door. I burst into the room, eager to press my Aimee to my ' heart. Good heaveus ! the sight was enough to madden me ! There was Koberfc Ramsay v seated by my Aimee: his arm was twined round her slender waist: his face was close to hers — he kissed her,. ye 3, by Heavens, he kissed her • there could be no mistake about the fact; if my eyes could have been deceived, my ears could not. Oh faithless Aimee! perfidious, treacherous, Robert Ramsay ! Horrorstricken, dismayed, I stood for £a moment petrified at the door, but only for a moment. Maddened with fury, I rushed into the room, and called Heaven to witness how I had been deceived in friend and financee. They looked conscience-stricken — Aimee blushed in her confusion. At the sight of my rising anger, Aimee gave a piercing shriek, and threw herself between us ; her eyes, which before seeded to me so sweet and gentle, blazed with anger as she stood like a lioness at bay to protect her new lover from the blows of the lover she had so recently . discarded.- The sight was too much for me! I tried to shut out the vision with my hands, and then rushed from the room with the intention of ending my life and my cares in the neighboring river. Oa the landing the rustle of a silk dress caused me to look vp — Geraldine, Bob's G-eraldine, was before me. " What is the matter, Percy dearest?" she cried. "Good heavens ! there is blood in your hands ; has anything happened — are you hurt?" and the brazen hussy, with one of those loving glances so lately lavished on Ramsay, tried, to throw her arms round my neck. — I pushed her from me with disgust, and rushed from tho house.