Untitled

Southland Times, Volume I, Issue 53, 1 October 1864, Page 3

Tiie Exit of Private Life. — Persons who are nervous, and persons who wish to be thought smart, find a difficulty in getting out of a room. For their comfort Mr. Punch has compiled a variety of light exits (to use the stage phrase), by the aid of which a member of either class may promote the comfort of the company by departing with grace and promptitude. Let him watch liis opportunity, and then introduce any of the following little speeches : — " I was glad to see that her Majesty walked yesterday on the Slopes ; and, talking of that, I must slope " (exit.) " Do you think it's going to rain ; I hope not ; but whether or no, I must mizzle " (exit) . " Your fire requires looking to, Mrs. Brown, or it will be going out — as, indeed, I inu3t be " (exit.) " A beautiful geranium, indeed, Mrs. Jones, and raised, I suppose, from a cutting — ha ! ha ! I must be cutting, too" (exit). " A very interesting auction at Christie's yesterday, and it was curious to see how the things were going — like me" (exit). " The concert was very brilliant. I never heard Miss Poole sing that song better, O, do?it you remember Sweet Alice, Sen 80lt — and I must bolt " (exit). "It would have been a foolish match, my dear lady. She had nothing, and a squint, and he had nothing and his debts. It's off, and so ani I " (exit). " Hastings ia pleasant, but there is so niuch boat-building that, go wherever you will, you smell tar, which I must now say " (kisses fingers and exit). " Cowper said something in the House about the dirty state of the fountains, and said that he must look to the source, in fact, au reservoir " (exit). " Angling has just begun at Hampton and the other Thames places, but I prefer sea-fishing, for there when a fish bites, you are sure to hook it ; as I beg to do"' (exit). " Do not, my darling Arabella, walk out too 6iirly in the day, for you are delicate, and at that time the grass is covered with , what I must now say — a dew " (exit) . " Some Americanisms are exceedingly quaint and humourous. To say ' I go, ' is to say no- , thing,- but anyone must laugh to hear a person say, ' I absquotulate'" (exit). (Ingenious variations and additions suggested, as the fashionable amusement of the season.) — -Punch. . "Wjß.degrade life by our follies- and -our vices, "and then complain that the urihappiness which is ( only inherent in the constitsrfaOßof 'tlurigs.' ..-.-.-.-..-. - ;