LETTERS FROM LITTLE BRITAIN.

Southland Times, Volume 2, Issue 92, 22 September 1863, Page 3

LETTERS FROM LITTLE BRITAIN.

UV THE MAN IN, THE MOOS/ ; . l In a former letter I referred tq a cheap'jrailway^ proposed by Mr. Tlieod6re\ "Deale- lib" rW in a straight line front the metropolis "to tlieLitke abit Gold-rields,;superse^ingl)i\Faustus' serpentine clay canals and tight-ropes. Mr. Beale surveyed the line, and sent in his report, whicli : was judiciously suppressed by his super-it jttstriousness ijto , avoid undue comment on the scheme; lsut aljis ! The poor Doctor isjiofc fco,rulein.peaceful despotismThe merchants seeing bankruptcy rapidly approaching, call loudly for the, Ycstry Parliament . to be assembled, enunciating the novel and highly erroneous doctrine, that tne public is entitled to know how its own money is spent. This, hqweyer, is prevented by the illness of Mr. Daniel Crammers, one of the Doctors cbief supporters, on whose vote depended his super-illustriousness' retention of office. The public, therefore, must wait j for their roads till his recovery, lest any of Dr. iFaustus' grand conceptions should be lost to the world by factious opposition. He calls a meeting of his '• men "to consult about the railway. Mr. Crammers first inspects the plan. He starts back aghast. — " Why this will not go near myproperty !" The Doctor replies, 'ftrue, we must make abend to the right."— Then Mr Squeeri makes a similar complaint, and a bend to the left is made.— Next, Mr John Muff, (nearly related to the poet-laureate,) points out that it will not go within 10 miles of his farm. The Doctor, sorrowfully observes, " I am afraid that will be. too much of a bend."-+Mr John Muff, (who is in a hnppy state of beor,) at once assails bissuper-iliustriousnes* with a perfect vocabulary of slang, carefully selected from the writings of his brother, the poet. Dr. Faustus. overwhelmned, yields ; again, Mr bqueers shows, that his northern property will not gem any advantage from the railway, unless another bend is made; it is done; and as three supporters of Government have been gratified, at a cost of only L2;>0,000, and an increase of only 50 nnles in the length of the railway, the public will no doubt rcrard it as a cheap and advantageous arrangement. I give a sketch of the railway , as dosignerl by Mr Theodore Beale, and as amended by the Government.

Mr Boale's faeo on the above mnp being presented to kirn as the final decision of the cabinet, would have been a study for Grimaliti, the clown. Astonishment gave pUce to horror, and that to fury. Turning to tiie Doctor, he resignol his pl.-ice wkh such a torrent ot eloquence, that Lis super-illustri-ousness was again quite overcome. Falling on his knee.*! Or Faustus implored Mr Beale for his sake and that of the Province to calm himself nnd not to resign, but Air Beale continued unreasonable, an-i werrt on his way not rejoicing. In deference to the feelings of certain gentlemen, I will postpone the remainder of my reve-li-t'on for the present, to trive the-n move time to prepare for the shock. One, however, I cannot resin. Ho supports the zig-zag railway on the ground that be always finds ho can get. homo j better by a zig-zag course than a straight one. It is probable. Fosco.