BUYING A BICYCLE.

Southern Cross, Volume 2, Issue 37, 8 December 1894, Page 3

BUYING A BICYCLE.

The young man had bought a bicycle. It was a good bicycle, and he was proud of it. He bought it on the instalment plan, and for a month he was happy with it. One night when he was riding on an asphalt street he met a friend. ‘ Ho,’ said the friend, ‘ where did you get that bike ?’ ‘ Bought it,’ replied the wheelman, tartly. 1 Did you think I stole it ?’ ‘Ho ; I don’t know as I did. What’ll you take for it ?’ The wheelman stopped and said, ‘ Do you want to buy a wheel ?* ‘ I might if I got one cheap enough.’ ‘ Well, what will you give for this one ?’ ‘ Ten pounds.’ The wheelman got on his wheel and rode away without a word. A day or two later the friend came around and made some more inquiries about the wheel. The wheelman told him confidentially that he was hard up and found difficulty in keeping up his payments, and that he had concluded to sell out for £lo.’ ‘ Nixie,’ said the friend, ‘ I have changed my mind, too. I can’t afford to give you more than £6 for that wheel now.’

The wheelman laughed at this offer. The friend came round every day for a week after that and asked him if he was ready to take £6, reminding him that he would lose the wheel altogether if he wasn’t prompt with his payments. One afternoon the friend made his usual proposition. I’ll give you £6 for that wheel,’ he said, ‘ you’d better take it too. It’s your last chance.’ k Well,’replied the wheelman, ‘I guess I will take it. Money is fearfully close with me.’ The preliminaries were arranged and the friend counted out the £6. ‘ Where’s the wheel ?’ he asked.

• Up at the house.’ ‘ I’]l coine up to- night and ride it away.’ ‘All right.’ Then as the friend was about to go out, the wheelman said, ‘On second thoughts, I would bring up a wheelbarrow for that bike if I were you.’ ‘ What’s the matter ? ’ gasped the friend. *lt isn’t broken, is it ?’ ‘ A little,’ and the wheelman smiled sardonically. ‘You see, a fire engine ran over it this morning,’ The janitor of the building stopped the fight. —Selected

Banks : “ Here is a queer fashion item- It says : ‘ Baggy-kneed trousers are coming to the front.’ ” Rivers : where else could they come ?” Force of Habit —Friend (calling on dentist) ; “ My head aches terribly.” Dentist (absent-mindedly): “Why don’t you have it out F” A slangy person. —“ I’m not in it,” said the traveller, as he stood on the station platform and watched the last train disappear in the distance. “ He that takes a wife takes care,’’ says Franklin ; hut Brown says that Franklin is wrong —“ That he who takes care doesn’t take a wife.” When men are as good as their obituaries and women are as good as the men rhink they are, the recording angel in heaven can take his long-needed vocation. An Essential Item. new book by a bank official on ‘ How to Get Rich Easily.’ ” “ Does he tell you how to keep out of gaol afterwards “ Your father is entirely bald now, isn’t he ?” said a man to the son of a millionaire. “Yes,” said the youth sadly, “ I’m the only heir he has left.” A scandalmonger is a person who talks to our neighbour about us. An entertaining talker is a person who tells ns mean stories about our neighbours. “ Well, I am an idiot,” said the judge. “ How’s that for contempt of court, your honour ?” asked the lawyer. “ 1 shan’t commit myself,” replied the justice. “ What brand of cigars does Bradley smoke ?” “ I don’t know, but they should be called the ‘Riot Act*’” “Why?” “Because they never fail to scatter a crowd.”