MY FIRST BURGLARY.

Southern Cross, Volume 2, Issue 26, 22 September 1894, Page 11

MY FIRST BURGLARY.

Dear Linda, — Max O’Rell has been "writing the story of his ‘ first snake, -which reminds me of my first burglary, It was in the Old Country, and my sister and I were visiting at the house of a friend, who happened to be manager of a suburban branchbank in a large city. One night I beard a heavy fall on the stairs. What could it be P Awaking my sister, we discussed the situation. There was nothing in the hall which could possibly have fallen, except the oak hat-stand, and had it turned a .somersault we should certainly have beard the rattle of the sticks and the umbrellas. We lay perfectly still, speaking in whispers and straining our ears for the slightest sound. With beating hearts we listened to the mysterious noises with which the .solitude of the night is always peopled —especially to those listening for burglars ! No sound issuing from the manager’s room overhead, we ■concluded that he had not hoard the fall. We were the only persons who bad done so, and were therefore responsible for the trust money in the safes below, which the thieves were ■cf course now rifling, having been upstairs in search of the keys. What was to be done ? We resolved upon the desperate expedient of alarming the police. The police-station being fo door, and all the constables on the way to or from their beat passing .around the bank-corner, there would be small difficulty about that. Hastily slipping on my dressing-gown, I cautiously drew up the blind. Punch thus defines the word ‘ policeman * A man paid to sleep in the open-air, .and never at hand when he’s wanted.’ Certain it is that I stood by that window in the dark, my sister in her nightdress shivering beside me, for twenty minutes by my watch—and ;<oh ! what long minutes they were — jjjjgfore a guardian of the public peace appeared. Then the welcome sound «of his measured tread smote upon my car, and I threw up the window. Policeman X, pursuing his monotonous way, was on the alert in an .instant. ‘ Do you see any signs ot a disturbance ?’ I enquired. ‘ There was a heavy fall on the stairs just now.’ Policeman X advanced with alacrity to the front door, and applied his lynx eye to the key-hole—-which was incautious of him——the -burglar might have squirted oil of vitroil into'it. - ‘ No,’ he replied, 1 don’t see anything wrong, but if you’ll come down and open the door I’ll come in and look round.* I hesitated ; go down and open the door, tumbling over the dead body of that fallen burglar by the way, and get,ting my brains knocked out at the foot of the stairs by another ? Not

quite ! So I politely declined the tempting offer, at the same time inviting him to enter by the bedroom window, upon, which he disappeared in search of a ladder. ; What an age he was gone, to be sure, and when he brought the ladder it proved to be too short, which entailed another journey. How well I remember my sensations when his head appeared above the window-sill while I stood holding aside the curtains, my sister having completely disappeared under the bed-clothes. And how boldly I unlocked the door and accompanied the • public peas ’ —taking care to keep well behind him—while he made a tour of inspection through the other rooms on the same floor. At the head of the stairs he paused, ready to descend, but at my request waited there while I ran off and roused the manager. Knocking at his door with no uncertain rap, I informed him that a noise had been heard in the house, and a policeman was investigating the cause. ‘ Are there any more that functionary as I rejoined him. rooms on ibis floor ?' enquired ‘ Only one at the other end—but the noise came from this direction —not that.’ ‘ We’d better look at it before searching the ground-floor,’ he replied. So I conducted him to the drawing-room where, face downwards lay the innocent cause of all the mischief. A large picture hanging over the mantlepiece had come down, bringing with it a tall, antique China candlestick. Just at this juncture the manager appeared, decidedly gratified at the discovery of the burglar. The ‘ public peas ’ retired, also well satisfied with the night’s work and with the contents of his closed fist. As for me, I have been teased about it ever since, although my friends kindly complimented me upon my bravery. Well, I certainly think I displayed commendable caution under such trying circumstances, but to this day I have never been able to discover where the ‘ bravery ’ came in ; I wish I could —it would be flattering to my vanity. Shamkock.