Random Notes.

Southern Cross, Volume 2, Issue 11, 16 June 1894, Page 4

Random Notes.

New Zealand, though in an out-of-

thie-way corner of this mundane sphere, can yet attract the notice of states which for size and weight are beyond comparison. The ambitious desire of our own Richard (of whom we’re justly proud !) to seek in Samoa dther worlds to conquer, promises to «et the diplomatists of England and Germany by the ears, as his proposal lias certainly roused the ire of patriotic editors in the Vaterland. Her worshipcss,” too, of Onehunga is busy making history and setting the little and hitherto obscure part of the northern sphere in quite a brilliant halo of glory. Our Lady-mayor brings a huge fund of energy to her task of governing the lord of creation, and she fully deserves all the honour and renown which is her lot throughout the world —the uncivilised parts as well as the civilised parts thereof. I may permit myself to anticipate the historian of posterity, and here quote the 1 anguage of some second Burke of future da'ys, who, looking back on our Feminine Revolution and its results, may deliver himself after this fashion :

“ It is now but a short time since 1 saw the Lady-mayor, then our only Mayoress, at Onehunga, and surely never rose in the political spher-e a more perfect specimen of the emancipated Woman. I saw her sitting at the head of the Council table laying down the law to grave and reverend seignors, the belle-ideal of the emancipated sex. Oh ! what a revolution ! What a heart must I have, to contemplate without e notion that elevation and that fall. Little did I dream that _I should live to see her jeered and hooted by ignoble men who lately boasted of their gallantry. I thought ■each member’s fist had rather clenched itself in the face of one who even threatened her with insult. But the age- of gallantry is gone ! That of equal rights, and equal pay, latch-keys and bifurcated garments has succeeded, and the sweetly-pretty and bashful girl, once so much admired, has departed for ever.”

Presentations to a corporate bod} 7 are of rare occurrence, but when made, and the gift is appropriate, it is necessary that this should be duly chronicled. Most of my readers may be aware that somewhere on the tussock-clad banka of the Mataura — classic stream —there nestles a little, village, yclept Wyndham, which village boasts a Town Board, and evidently, too, lately boasted its possessing a drum and fife band. Lately, I s ly, for the Orphean brotherhood confess or the their secretary, for them, confesses that their breath has departed, and the fifes have ceased to thrill the listening err with theii dulcet tones. But the drum remains, and suitable recipients for the same were eigerly looked for. And where could that instrument of sound and fury more fitly be consigned than the Town Hall, and into whose hands more fitly than those of the Chairman who directs the deliberations of Wyndham’s city f ithers ? If the defunct band has any' more musical instruments of the drum species I think that I could easily recommend one or two oilier suitable corporate bodies to whom the gift might be quite as appropriately made.

Like the war-horse, our members are beginning to scent the battle from afar, and are now girding np their loins for the fray. Soon we shall be deluged with the usual quantum of endless oratorical (?) efforts discussing the interminable differences between tweedledum and tweedledee, but will as usual find that “ things don’t get no forrarder.” Most of my readers have some time or other read Lewis Carroll’s most amusing and ever '/rise nonsense. -His proposal to extend to other pursuits our methods of government are well worthy of attention, and here I may to quote his proposal to introduce “ the glorious British Principle cf Dichotomy ” into agriculture.

“ We persuaded many of the ‘well-to-do farmers to divide their staff of labourers, and set them one against the other. They are called like our political parties, the ‘ Ins’ and 'the ‘ Outs.’ The business of the Ins was to do as much ploughing, sowing, or whatever might be needed, as /they could manage in a day, and at night were paid according to the amount they had done. The business of the Outs was to hinder them, and they w;ere paid for the amount they had hindered. The farmers found they had to pay only half as much wages as they did before, but they didn’t observe that the amount of work done was only quarter as much as w T as done before. In a very short time, things settled down into a regular routine ;no work at all w r as done. So the Ins got no w r ages and the Outs got full pay, and the farmers never discovered till most of them were ruined, that the rascals had agreed to manage it so, and had shared the pay between them !”

Our members have not yet reached the last stage above indicated, but the glorious time is coming, and quite possibly the approaching session wdll help to hasten on that happy dav. Vox.