Humour

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 47, 17 February 1894, Page 12

Humour

A QUICK RECOVERY. The doctor of an hospital ship complained to a visitor of a lazy coloured man whom he could do nothing with. “We don’t like to throw the rascal out, but it is easily seen he is onlyshamming. He finds, no doubt, his present quarters too pleasant —no work and plenty to eat. I wish I could get clear of the fellow without creating a disturbance.” “ Well, doctor,” said the visitor, after a little reflection, “ lend me a few yards of string, and the nigger will be miles away before night,” “ You don’t mean to strangle him, I hope ?”

“Oh, no,” replied the visitor. “ I promise to do no in jury to him.” He got the twine, and, putting on a melancholy air, he went to °the darkey’s berth. “ Very bad ?” he said. “ Yes, massa,” replied Sambo: “ drebful sick.”

The visitor said no more, but. placed one end of the twine at his head, and drew it slowly very slowly—-until it reached his toes. Then he measured him across the chest. The fellow looked the picture of astonishment and terror, and gasped— What dis for ?”

The visitor never answered him, hut was walking away, when Sambo sat bolt upright, and called after him, imploring an explanation. The visitor pretended to relent, and whispered—- “ My poor fellow, the doctor knows you are not going to. recover; and it is only an expense keeping you here without any chance of doing you good. I have just been taking your* measure”—here he lowered his voice still more —“ for a coffin. We’ll bury you with honours to-morrow ; it’s the custom here in a case like yours, ’Tis best for all hands, you know.” . No one knew how or when that nigger got clear of the hospital ship, but there was no trace of him in the morning.—Selected.