Random Notes

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 42, 13 January 1894, Page 9

Random Notes

“ Will your r’yle ’ighness hobblige us by lifting upon us the light of your countenance,” is in brief the cable sent by our Honourable premiers of these colonies to the youth and maiden lately (vide my good friend W. H, Mathieson’s now famous chronicle) united in the holy bonds of matrimony under the shadow of the British throne. “Jeames,” as a species, is not yet extinct in these colonies, for here we have evidence that Flunkeydom flourishes in our midst like a green bay-tree. From Victoria, as usual, this tawdry manifestation of cheap loyalty emanates. Do they of Melbourne expect that a visit from a possible future sovereign will provide them with the material for another boom, or that the Royal Duke will prove a buttress to support their tottering financial institutions P Are the colonials so very loyal that they cannot continue to exist without the benign smiles from the lips of royalty P Doubtless we would all —even the most pronounced radical among us —be pleased to see the royal pair, and would give them, too, a right royal welcome did they choose of their own free will and accord to visit the shores of our sea-girt land. But the request forwarded by our colonial premiers is certainly a proof of their desire to obtain a Colonial Knighthood rather than evidence that the Australasian is an ardent believer in the right divine of kings, and eagerly desirous of gazing upon the gaudy display of royal pageantry.

One of the most pleasant and amusing incidents of the holiday season was the passage of arms in Dunedin between the rector of the Girls’ High School and the senior inspector of the Otago Education Board. “Where’s Apsheron Peninsula ?” asks the scholastic inquisitor. “ Dunno !” answers the High School gentleman—- “ and don’t care, either,” he seems to say, sotto voce. “ Yer orter be ’shamed o’ yer igii’rance,” retorts the little boys ’Spectre. “ And you don’t know where Para is either ? What school produced your geographical ignorance,” the inspector goes on to say. Like Mr Wilson, I must confess that I am not a budding scholarship candidate, else doubtless would 1, with fear and trembling, submit to Mr Inspector Petrie’s tests in geography. As that experienced gentleman seems

desirous of puzzling the little 13-year-old urchins who offer themselves for mental anatomy, will Mr Petrie accept these as suitable problems for the promising scholarship , winners of next year F—GEOGRAPHY PAPER (Unlimited hours allowed). 1. Describe the land of “ Prester John.” ISTame its principal towns, rivers and exports. 2. What and where are the Fortunate Islands, Atlantis, Plato’s Republic, and Ultima Thule F 3. In what seas have mermaids been discovered, and what is the peculiar habit of the great sea - serpent F Where, also, was the Barnaclegoose found, and what were its peculiarities ? 4. Write notes on Laputa, Utopia, Avalon, Tarshish. and Hawaiki. 5. Outline a map of Bohemia as described by Shakespere. The foregoing I consider a model examination paper, and I can promise Mr Petrie that it will “ floor ” any candidate for the Otago Board’s scholarships, and will doubtless also furnish Rector Wilson with a text for another discourse exhibiting his ignorance of things every “ fellah ” should know.

Last week I had something’ to say concerning the rule of the road, or rather the street. Sydney, it appears, suffers from the same want of system as that to which I drew attention. The Star devotes a long article to “ Pavement manners,” in the course of which it is regretfully admitted that “ Sydney is a little way behind the rest of the world in the manners of the pave. Our people walk badly, and manoeuvre badly, and pass badly, and, in fact, seem utterly undisciplined on their promenade. In most cities ‘ keep to the right ’ is clearly recognised, but in Sydney, walkers on the pavement seem seldom to know the right from the left. A sober - seeming man comes charging down the street, and meets a matronly person in a bit of a crush. Both are educated up to every other circumstance of life, but here both are utterly unprovided. An onlooker might imagine that a set of quadrilles was on, and they were setting to partners. They side here and there, and at the last generally meet full butt, with the old necessary but inane ‘ I beg your pardon.’ Would it merd matters if we had ‘ Keep to the right ’ written large throughout the city F” And so on. From which it will be seen that lavercargillites are not the only sinners against the amenities of the thoroughfare. But that is no reason why they shouldn’t reform.

“ One man one vote ” is now the rule in thing’s political, and if there are many places like Glarston, “ one family one township,” will soon be the correct thing. Garston, like many another country centre, held spoits daring the recent holiday season. The committee of management included Messrs W. T. Soper and T. Soper The first-named acted also as handicapper. The programme consisted of fifteen events, and in thirteen of these one or other of the Soper family figured, annexing no fewer than eight first prizes, nine second, and one third. The Soper family ought to be proud of their successes —they certainly “ take the cake ” from an athletic point of view. Nothing seems to come amiss to them, from tossing the caber to racing. There is one question which has for some time been on the lips of not a few members of that übiquitous and many-headed personage, the public, which question, too, possesses some little interest to the writer of this column. By road and by rail, at the street corner, wherever, in fact, Southlanders “ most do congregate,” is heard the question “ VVho’s Vox ?’ while not a few in reply profess to be more intimately acquainted with that person’s personality than I am ! 1 have no intention of enumerating the names of the several gentlemen—nay of ladies, too, who have had the load

of my literary labours laid upon them.. Doubtless they would be, one and all delighted to learn the fact, but I fear that Mr Editor would have somethingdefinite to say upon my giving so many a free Jprofessional advertisement. I should certainly like to gratify the curiosity of those who like Mother Eve are so anxious to taste of the tree of knowledge, but there is one insuperable obstacle in the way;—Vox is of a most retiring disposition. His. propensity for blushing is most painful, and likewise incurable, so that no matter how great his desire to satisfy the curiosity of enquiring friends, he must perforce hide hig: blushes under the cloak of his anonymity, and to his readers still be a name and nothing more. Vox.