Ladies.

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 38, 16 December 1893, Page 10

Ladies.

THE INCONSISTENCIES OE MAN.

(By one of His Sisters.)

A man can take' his life in his hand and go boldly into the trackless prairie to meet a herd of savage buffaloes, or he can traverse the horrors of an African jungle without a shudder in his body. But he cannot enter a fancy wool shop to match a special hue without breaking into a violent perspiration, and finally rushing away without fulfilling his task. A maj can suffer the amputation of a limb in heroic silence, but he cannot endure a mustard plaster on his chest without shrieking aloud for

mercy. A man can bear the deprivation of his wealth with the calmness of a stoic, but he cannos lose his collarstud on the bedroom floor without a violent outburst of temper. A man can endure the pangs of hunger on a desert island with a brave spirit, but he cannot eat his bride’s first pudding without a smothered ejaculation. A man can smile grimly nnder the tortures of the rack, but he cannot tread on a tin-tack with his bare foot without a bitter howl. A man can walk forty miles a day, and arrive fresh and blight at the end of his journey, but he cannot nurse a baby half-an-hour without complaining that he is utterly worn out. A man can calculate to the uttermost farthing the cost of a Suez Canal, but he cannot estimate the cost of a woman’s bonnet without egregious errors. A man can stand five hours under a blazing sun to watch a cricket match, but he cannot sit ten minutes by the bedside of a sick child without falling asleep. A man can be a Senior Wrangler had acquire fame as an authority on the most abstruse subjects, but he cannot answer the questions of a three-year-old child without revealing his ignorance. A man can beard the savage tiger in his lair without a quiver of his muscles, but he cannot bring an unexpected friend to dinner on a washing day without trembling in every limb. ' A man can suffer death at the

stake with the dignity of a martyr, but he cannot chase after his hat in a public road without looking ridiculous.

A man can wait many years in proud silence for the public appreciation of his work, but at a domestic crisis he cannot get up and light the fire every da}' for a week without feeling; that he is fit for immediate canonization.

A man will go through fire and water to win the girl of his heart, but he wiil not allow her to see him with a four days’ growth on his chin.

A man will write a book on woman’s idiotic slavery to fashion, but he will walk through town on a hot summer day with his trousers turned up without feeling himself a fool.

A man will inveigh against the amount of his tailor’s bill, but he will a«k double the value of his wornout suit from the old clothes woman.

A man can swear eternal fidelity to a woman and yet allow her to sue him for breach of promise. In short, a man can be, and is, the most delightfully inconsistent creature on the face of the earth.