Ladies.

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 35, 25 November 1893, Page 3

Ladies.

MATRIMONY F ROM A WOMAN’S ' “ POINT OP- VIEW. . We latlcy briefly considered the choice matrimonial from a man’s point of view. There are two sides, however, to every question, and qmtr as much may be said on behalf of ihe “ weaker vessel ” as for her lord and master. Whether a man or woman gains most by-the transaction, or wiietner ■faking ail things into cinsideration, a vast number who have entered the bondf of h >ly wedlo 1c would not have been happier if they bad becu single, is one of those moot points which will ever remain a mystery, for no u.an can te'l whether a man’s shoe pinches, not to nienton the fact that nine-tenths of those who suffer hear their martyrdom in silence, and present a Spartan countenance to the world.

“ Hasty marriages seldom proveth well,” wrote Shakespeare, who ought to have known something about the matter, as he was himself yoked for many years to an uncongenial partner. X)r. Johnson, on the ct ler hand, though married to a wife considerably ■older than himself, and fortunate in diis matrimonial relations, has left oa vecord his opinion that “marriages would be just as happy if they were arranged by the laird Chancellor, instead of in the usual manner. If single life is bad, double life must be twice as bad, someone has said ; but this statement is, I think, capable of considerable modification, and there is no more lovely and touching sight than that of a youngwife, with perfect trust and love, confiding her entire life and happiness to the keeping of one who loves her an return as a husband should. Love matches, however, in which the warmest and strongest human passions are equal on both sides, a e extremely rare, and, when they do exist, are almost too full of bliss for this nether world. It ; s an undoubted fact, however, circumstances over’ which we have mo control often slop in ani prevent our marrying our first loves, and the question then arises—may matrimony he undertaken by a young woman ■who, in return for sincere affection, can only oiler respect, obedience, loyalty and that somewhat lukewarm statement called friendship. This, I think, depends very much upon the temperament of the wife and the adaptability of her nature. Every human being is different from any othei specimen of the race, and in this variety is much of the charm of life. Still, in the close contact of marriage, each will sometimes grate upon the other if they be of a different opinion. To bear the little unpleasantnesses withontbeingrnfflod, to forbear speaking while under their Influence,, saves many a heartache. Harsh and hasty words leave terrible sores behind them, and how often are they mourned and regretted when it is too late ! The various and selfish motives from which same women marry bring their own punishment, and I firmly believe that such unions are absolutely unhallowed, oven it they are onfirmsd by a bench of bishops. When they have been contracted whether they should be persisted in when the happiness of the two people, not to mention the lives and interests of unborn children, are at stake, is a point which can only bn decided oa the individual merits of each case. The duties and responsibilities of maternity form, in most of us, a stronger bond than that which binds us to our husbands, and that any woman is justified in bringing into the world the helpless infants, who will he cursed fa om then birth with such horrible taints as insanity, disease, or a craving* for drink, 1 cannot believe. man and woman at 'full age and presumably with average common sense may take certain risks as regards themselves, but what excuse can there be for them if they give life, and then slowly destroy it from neglect or other causes. Easier diforcc may be necessary, but

opportunities for making wiser and happier marriagesf, are. even, more inportar.it, and a more or less confidential intercourse must be allowed to enable any two., persons to judge whether they are suited for permr n ent : association. ' A couple who, are virtually strangers are mutually attracted towards each other, and they are inclined to believe that they w id 1 be happier together than apart. They marry on this s ipposition, find *out their mistake in an incredibly fiioct space of time, and after that — die deluge. If there is a difference of opinion, a. piarrel results ; if there there is a livergcnce of wiI 1 , neither will give way, and each strives for victory to the bitter end, an 1 the air is full of the heat an 1 tumult of battle. They lo not see that the fault lies in a masterful and unyielding temper, want of complaisance, and consideration, selfishness, irritability and an lisciphned p.ass’ons. If it is impossible to agree together, remain apart, for a time at least; the earth has a wide enough surface for two people to exist without coming into frequent contact. Then time, the g-reat healer, will exercise its beneficent influence and inevitably the flag of truce will bo hoisted. How many a husbnd, twining round his life the frail tendril of a woman’s existence, fails to cherish it and shed upon it the dews of a soft solitude, bat exposes it to all the unaccustomed rudeness of the outer air, and leaves it to wither in the shade of thoughtless neglect. Men who are held in high esteem by the world, who are rigid moralists and immortal philosophers, still have it in their power to make women’s lives a martyrdom and marriage a purgatory.• —Lndgate Monthly.