Humour

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 34, 18 November 1893, Page 4

Humour

HOW IT IS DONE. “It’s strange I can’t get my wife to mend my clothes,” remarked Mr McBride disgustedly. “ I asked her to sew the buttons'on this vest, and she bas never touched it.” “ You asked her ?” observed Mr Norris, with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “ Yes. What else shonld Ido ?” “You haven’t been married very long,” remarked Mr Norris, with a fatherly air. “Never ask a woman to mend anything. That’s fatal.” “ Why, what do 3 T ou mean ?” “Do as I do. When I want a shirt mended, for instance, I take it in my hand and hunt up my wife. 4 Where is that ragbag, Mrs Norris ?’ I demand fiercely. 4 What do you want the ragbag for ?’ she says suspiciously. ‘I want to throw this shirt away. It’s all worn out,’ I reply. 4 Let me see it,’ she demands. But I put the garment behind my back. 4 No, my dear,’ , I answer. 4 There is no use of your attempting to do anything with it. It needs —’ ‘Let me see it,’ she reiterates. ‘But it’s all worn out, I tell you.’ 4 Now, John, you give me that shirt!’ she says in her most peremptory tones. I hand over the garment. ‘ Why, John Norris !’ she cries, with womanly triumph, 4 This is a perfectly good shirt. All it needs is a new neckband.’ ‘And the cuffs are ragged, too,’ I answer mildly. 4 And new wristbands, and the buttonholes worked over,’ she adds. 4 Well, never mind what it needs, I don’t intend you shall bother with it. You’ll only waste your time. You’ll never get it to fit in the neck anyway,’ I throw in as a final clincher. * That’s just like your extravagance,’ she cries. 4 I’m going to fix that shirt. The idea of throwing away a perfectly good garment ! I’ll fix it so as you can never tell the difference.’ And she does. That’s the way I get my clothes mended,” concluded Mr Norris. 44 Just tell a woman she can’t do anything, and then stand aside and see how quickly it is done.”