Random Notes

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 28, 7 October 1893, Page 9

Random Notes

“Who is to be the next mayor?” is a question not unfrequently heard where the burgesses most do congregate. I cannot say that I am deeply concerned as to who fills the civic chair, for things might move along pretty well were even “King Log” appointed to rule over us for a twelvemonth. Like Boswell’s hero, f believe “ the man that would make a pun would be quite likely to pick a pocket,” if he had the chance. So, while quoting the following, overheard within a mile of Hall’s corner, I confess that I shall hereafter keep my eye upon my pockets when the utterer of the following atrocity is within easy reach of them. The question that heads this paragraph was under discussion, when, said he, who shall be nameless: “ There,are several who r(a)eside near Dee street who will tell another storie and look gie blacke when the results of the ensuing election become known.

Friend. T. B. some time ago endeavoured, without consulting Mrs Vox on the subject, to proclaim the banns of holy matrimony between my humble self and the Jove-born goddess whose vera effigies adorn our local shrine of learning—the Athenseum. Bather complimentary to a poor penny-a-liner to attempt such a union, since the martial maid was all too ready to brandish her “ sounding aegis ” in the face of would-be wooers in the days when the earth was young. But it was not on this subject that I designed to write. You, my dear reader, are a subscriber to the Athenaeum —at least you’ll admit you ought to be. If so, then, you do occasionally drop into the reading-room to glance through latest journals and reviews, or call at the library for a novel to wile away part of your evenings, or for more substantial fare to consume on [a wet Sunday, of which of late we have had all too many in these parts. If, then, either of these objects causes you to wend your way Athenseum-wards, I doubt not that you, like me, have often instituted comparisons, and,, as Mrs Malaprop says, “Comparisons are odious.” We have a fine building, but what shall we say about some of the readers? Dost thou, my friend, always find the current magazine upon the table ? I don’t. Some subscriber, mindful of the first law (?) of nature—“ Man, mind, thyself!” has possibly appropriated it or a

time, for quiet reading e'scwhere. Or perhaps a picture is gone, or a leaf or two ex* tract-el, and the mere shell of the journal left for succeeding readers. Why this thus* ness? Who are the offenders? The fact that fashion plates and articles on dress aresometimes the subject-matter of the missing portions, leads me to suspect that members of the newly-enfranchised section of the community know something about the matter, but I should be loath to charge ladies with such proceedings. Much though Vandalism shows itself in the reading-room, it is still more in evidence in the library. Here the miss in her teens and the irresponsible critic indulge their propensities to the full. Lately I found in a volume that a “ stupied ” miss, whose proper place is evidently within reach of a school-teacher’s “ tawse,” had inscribed her inane opinion that said volume was “ a stupied story.” Beneath this refined criticism another young lady (P), so the handwriting led me to conclude, had clearly expressed herself in the grammatical remark, “ Easy read and easy understood.” It is not, however, always theinexperiencedmiss in her teens who errs in thus giving way to the scribbling mania. Books on philosophy and theology also suffer at the hands of these learned incognitos. Should I ask for, say, “Drummond’s Natural Law,” I do not desire to have the crude and impertinent comment of some bumptious nobody thrust under my eyes along with the popular professor’s arguments* Further, in another work, the product of the pen of a deceased resident of New Zealand, a sapient reader inscribes an attempt at poetry beginning with the words “Thou solemn, idiot.” Idiocy without the solemnity is doubtless a characteristic of the writer of the lines referred to. But why further enlarge upon this topic ? In the Old Country it is pleasant to enter some libraries, in age numbering mmany years as our local library numoers months, and look over the well thumbed volumes ranged along the shelves. Vainly will one hunt in such places for such exhibitions of hopeless vulgarity as disfigure so many Athenmum books. The scribbling of “Marginalia” has been a propensity of many who have left names highly valued in English literature. But the indulgence of these men. {eg., S. T. Coleridge and Thackeray) was confined to their own or their friends’ books, and not exhibited in those which were public property, and, further, their marginal annatations were zvorth reading, being as far removed from stupidity as the east is from, the west. Every right-thinking member of the Atben. seum ought steadfastly to set his (or her) face against this disgraceful jiractice and help to put an end to what is a serious injury to the institution. “ The shouts of war are heard afar,” the din of battle falls upon our ears ! The day of parliamentary election appropinquates, while intending candidates are preparing for the fray in the usual orthodox style. That which promises to be the most interesting of Southland contests seems to be the conflict which will rage along the banks of the calmflowing Mataura. Already there are twodoughty champions in the field, and as the sitting member intends again to woo theelectors, a charming triangular duel is evidently in the immediate future. One learned and much-be-lettered aspirant has already endeavoured to catch the ear of the electors by discoursing upon “Poisons,” with experiments. I trust none of the electors were experimented upon, as that would mean loss of votes in proportion to electors dealt with. Yet another in lucid terms promises toaddress the electors simultaneously ivith the sitting member. (Kindly pub that in italics, Mr Compositor.) As the hymn says—“ Won’t that be joyful ?” The Hon. G-. F. has a temper as sharp as his own features, and itstrikes me that the contest of the Milton publican and the Salvationist will pale before the simultaneous addresses of that honourable gentleman and his opponent! This prospective candidate is well up in all advanced Liberal notions; and so far as knowledge of the district is concerned is equalled by few, but I opine that in one section, at any rate, of the extensive electorate not a few enquiries will be made as to his acquaintance with distinguishing differences between “horned goats ” and “long-eared rabbits.” Vox.