Random Notes

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 22, 26 August 1893, Page 9

Random Notes

Last week, in a moment of weakness, I permitted myself to admit to this column the production (poetical?) of one who “warbles his wood-notes wild ” amid the tussock-clad hills of the interior. The amateur poet is an evil, and I ought to have remembered that evils never come singly, but rather, as the poet says, “in battalions.” It was Byron, I believe, who wished “ That womankind had but one rosy mouth To kiss them all at once from north to south.” For my part I most cordially wish that all amateur poets, poetasters, rhymsters, et hoc genus omne, possessed but the same number of necks, and that there were a tree and a good stout rope handy ! No sooner do I allow to one rhymster the honour of appearing in “guid black prent,” than another, this time a local sinner, assails me. In self-defence I must give his lucubration room, though very much in doubt as to the accuracy of the information he endeavours to convey. I am loath to believe that the budding poet who transmits the following lines is so far in the confidence of “ His Excellency’s Besponsible Advisers ” as to have State secrets of first importance entrusted to his keeping. BONNIE DUNDEE. (A new version) (With apologies to the shade of the Great Scott!) To McNab, L.L.8., Dickey Seddon sent down — “Go thou to Mataura, that seat must be won ; G. F. Richardson oft puts my figures to shame, And you are the man to.stop his little game !” Chorus :—So pack up your briefs, wig, gown and your pleas, And stump "the whole district from Gore to the seas; Make th’ electors all swear by the Great Lib’ral P., And choose as their member, McNab, L.L.B. ! “ Though ‘ La-bah !’ Reeves calls you ‘ a-jd—-social pest,’ Heed not his poor drivel, but hear my behest ; For with Macs as my henchmen I fear not the dell, With the fierce Opposition full cry at his heel!” Chorus:—So pack up, &c. “Do not pose as ‘member’ for ‘colonial good,’ But promise their railways support with your blood ! Let ‘ co-operative non-borrowing ’ be Your argument ’gainst G. F. Richardson’s plea.” (Chorus): —So pack up, &c. “Then mount on the platform, McNab, my dear man; Bamboozle the electors as much as you can ; Assure them good government only can be In the hands of New Zealand’s own Great Lib’ral P.,

(Chorus) :—So pack up your briefs, wig, gown and your pleas, And palaver from Knapdale right down to the seas! Make th’ electors all join with the Great Liberal P., Sending up as their member, McNab, L.L.8.” Lachlan McLachlan. And, Lachlan, my canty chiel, you might have added, “a right good member too, would the Mataura Electorate obtain when selecting that same L.L.B. as their representative I” Did not my readers last week open their eyes in wonder at the generosity of our morning daily ? How kind of it, to be sure, to go shares with certain newspaper companies “ to learn the true state of affairs ” in the Prohibition States! As the first instalment of their agent's investigation fills just fourteen columns in small type, 1 must confess that lie certainly writes, calamo currenie, and I much doubt if many of the local readers of the daily press have sought to emulate my example in plodding through that mass of verbiage. If Mr Stringer’s facta arc in keeping with his.. English and neatness and accuracy in quotation, he certainly deserves every credence. 11 ow the departed Milton would writhe did he but hear his forcible language modified inro such form as this — “Betterto reign in Pandemonium than seiwe in Heaven was the choice of the Prince of Darkness!” But why this urgent desire to make the masses acquainted with the lack of efficacy in the States’ Prohibitory Laws ? Evidently the morning paper feels that Prohibition is at last coming within the range of practical polities. The report, I think, may be safely attributed to the Association of Licensed Victuallers rather than to the public spirit of “certain newspaper companies.” Why then are the Licensed Victuallers so concerned in the matter ? Prohibition, they say, does not prohibit, and this statement they have kept repeating for years past. This, in a word, too, is the report of their special agent. Then, forsooth, the “ vittlers ” have nothing to fear from Prohibitory Laws in New Zealand. Their trade will go up by leaps and bounds. What have they to fear, for, if Prohibition does not prohibit in America, it will scarcely do so here. But, —there is always a but in these cases—possibly Prohibition, pace all specially accredited agents whose reports are framed to suit “ sukkumstanees,” may be somewhat efficacious. Hinc illae lacrymae ! Hence the voluminous report! Hence the strong opposition of those interested in the maintenance of a trade built upon the vices of the community! When public-spirited enough to send so far afield as the States for news, our local papers do not seem to pick up items of interest nearer home. The recent capping ceremony in Dunedin, though this week presenting special interest for SoutLlauders received but meagre attention. Eor some years past, thanks to the public spirit and energy of Mr It. McNab, whose praises a correspondent sounds a few lines above, there has been in existence and doing good work a Collegiate Association in this town. While other districts have been clamouring for Govexmment aid in founding colleges, &c., opening their mouths pretty widely too, to catch the expected plums, here the above-mentioned gentleman with the aid of other like-minded liberal men have brought into existence a University College, small and humble, but still, as the capping ceremony of Otago University last week showed, equal to sending up its students for their B.A. Degree. Not less than three Southland students were capped, including two ladies (Misses McLeod and Jamieson) the latter of whom at any rate, receiving the whole of her training in the local Association. I regret that lam not sufficiently acquainted with the working of the Ass ociation which can claim the credit of so good educational results as to give particulars of its form of organisation, membership and finances. Certainly it may be affirmed that its conductors are entered upon a labour of love, for “ siller” they cannot find too plentiful in fees, etc. Unassuming, too, the Association appears to be, since for so long has it pursued the noiseless tenor of its way, without the flourish of trumpets which so often aceompanies work of much less sterling merit. We are an essentially Scotch community, and though somewhat cosmopolitan in the choice of our chief magistrate, this year we possess a Mayor Scotch to the backbone and endowed with the full supply of “canniness.” Dost thou, my reader, ask me wherefore do I thus sound his praises? Peruse, I entreat thee, the reports of last Council meeting. Duncan will attend meetings of the Southland High Schools Board to provide the necessary Chairman, but as to joining in the wrangling thereafter, Duncan's no' there ! ” “ He never went to college,” he says, “ and therefore did not graduate as wrangler—senior or junior; and, thus late in life, after passing through the inferior degrees of School Committees, Masonic Lodges, etc., etc., the duties connected therewith being discharged in “ peace and harmony,” when promoted to the high and sublime degree of High School Governor, he does not intend to forsake the paths of peace pursued from his youth even until this day. Righteous, resolve! Noble example, worthy of emulation by those of his subordinates in the Council who seem to think it their privilege to provide amusement for the ratepayers! Vox