A MILITARY YARN.

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 18, 29 July 1893, Page 13

A MILITARY YARN.

/ Some.years ago. a certain colonel, who wai. Notorious ■■. throughout; : the rank and file pf r the Army for being a ,martinet of- the worst type, met his Sedan in the person of a young subaltern, who had-recently arrived from Sandhurst. The young lieutenant imagined himself: a second Apollo, 'and was so exceedingly vain of his personal appearahde that he had becpnie absent minded, frequently neglected his duty, and called forth severe censure from the old disciplinarian. It is an unpardonable offence for an officer to appear without his sword while on duty as an officer of the day. One morning Lieutenant H relieved the old officer of the day, duly inspected his guard, visited the sentinels, and then repaired to his quarters and hung up his sword. It was a very beautiful morning, and he concluded to take ail airing on the parade ground. Neglecting to buckle on his sword, he sauntered forth. He was at peace with all mankind, when, behold! over came the colonel’s orderly on the double quick. “ Sir, the commanding officer wishes to see you immediately at his quarters !” Here was a pretty mess. A nice predicament, indeed, to appear before the old Tartar without belt or swbid ! There was no avenue of escape, however. He must go at once ; nothing to do but brave it out. Arriving at the colonel’s house, he found his nerves strung up to a high pitch of desperation. He rang the bell, and the door was opened to him with a grand flourish. Hanging on the peg in the hallway was the sword of many battles, the property of the colonel. “ Saved ! Saved !” cried the lieutenant, as he quickly buckled it about his lady-like waist. But the discrepancy in size of waists ’twixt him and the owner was something tremendous, and caused the belt to hang considerably awry. However, he boldly entered the presence of his commanding officer and saluted. “You wish to see, sir p” “Yes, sir; should say I do want to see you ! Lieutenant H , are you devoid of all military etiquette P How dare you, sir, appear when officer of the day without Here he noticed the sword. “ What —what is this ? Oh, I wished to remark that you should wear your sword in a more soldierly manner, tighten up the belt—tighten it up at once ! That will do, sir.” Once in the hallway, the lieutenant replaced the sword, and departed much lighter at heart. . The old colonel was nonplussed. “Well, well! If 1 couldn’t swear that Lieutenant H appeared on the parade without’ his sword. An optical delusion, no doubt. My old eyes must be failing me.” Going to the window he perceived the lieutenant again crossing the parade to his quarters without a sword on. This was too much, and the veteran stepped briskly out on to the porch, and in a voice of thunder bellowed: “ Come here, sir ! Lieutenant H , come here at once!” and then reentered his room. This time the young subaltern entered without ceremony, hurriedly tightened up the belt, buckled on the colcnel’s sword, and presented himself before the furious old warrior. “ Wish io see me, sir “ Now, sir, how dare you appear with your—-. What is this P Again ? Oh, I was about to remark—but never mind, you can go, sir. Some other time will answer.” The old man was dumfounded. “ Zounds ! Couldn’t he believe his own eyes ?” He ran to the window. There he was again, just stepping off the porch without his sword on. He would call his'wife, whose eyes were younger. “ Come here, my dear. Can you see Lieutenant H- crossing the parade ?” “ Why, certainly I can, George.” “ Well, then, will you please inform

me, has lie got his sword on or has he not F” “ Why, George, of course he hasn’t.” “ Now, that’s just where fyou’re my dear. He has.”