Moa Matter.

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 7, 13 May 1893, Page 5

Moa Matter.

(By Bull’s Eye) An important discovery—not of gold this time, but of bones! Nothing tickles an Invercargill ear like that word “ discovery.” Why?- Because we have a great future and want to enjoy it right away. But to the bones. Three shootists, decent fellows all, went abroad the other day,, oceanwards and westward. They went without guns, for they were on the track of featherless birds, we had almost said bipeds, but remembered in time that our adventurers were not policemen, though not unacquainted with the precincts of the law courts, and at all times just the very men to spot the right thing or the right person when they wish to. How they got wind of the great plant we know not; but all three are great at windage; and, as their wont is, they were dead on. On what ? On seven moas. Dead ones ? Be thankful, yes. Male and female, young and old, cock, hen, and chick, quite a family party. These birds had not left all their remains in the one place, holding of bones as of eggs, that they should not be all in the one basket, or as here, sand hole. Their vesture and outward adornments had wholly gone to make way for the restless, rubbing sand, and some of the bones had probably kept the feathers company. Out of the variety heap of bones which now lie secure in the knowlekge of the fortunate three, one whole moa skeleton has been constructed, as a specimen of anatomical syncretism, and enough left to make it a matter of interest to search the sand for the missing members. But listen, the three men who made the moa found eggs also, or rather what once was eggs—the yolks are gone and so too the whites, but eggshells, innumerable pieces of untold dozens, are to be got, and what with paste and scissors an egg or two may be made, inside left out, on the same principle as the moa, and this would be a sample of eclectic egglaying. But joking apart, a whole egg (addled of course), might be found, and a real made moa wearing his own legs, and eschewing his neighbour’s thrapple rings. A whole egg would fetch a pot of money (egg and pot — force of habit, you see); and an honest moa would bring as much as an egg, especially if it be her own egg. Now to the practical point. Why not turn this discovery to public advantage ? That would be putting it upon the stream of tendency, setting sail to catch (or raise) the wind, steering it for the port of commonweal according to modern principles, would it not ? For who has any right to advantage but the public ? A company should be formed without delay and shares sold at once, sub-divided and sold again at a premium ; then the discoverers of the moa mound should be interviewed and a deal proposed. The value of the bones, if it were deemed a matter of importance to find out the real value of anything held by a company, might be left to thg old man with the hour glass and American scythe, who has an intimate knowledge both of time and bones. Should the company hum and ha and ask for more time, we can fancy the venerable gent stamping his foot, sticking his glass—not the hour one—under his bushy eye brow, and rapping out ‘ Carpe diem and make no bones about it.’ Catch him saying ‘ Grab the bones and make a day of it.’ Now we might be more explicit, and tell precisely (only we don’t know quite precisely) where the bone plant is, were it not for the fear that next Wednesday afternoon crowds of ressurectionists would be making their way to the place indicated with piles of apple cases to bring back the fruit of their labours in, and that we in consequence should miss the profit of printing and publishing the prospectus of the “ Moa Bone and Egg Constructing Co., Ltd.” ‘N.B.—Guaranteed, no pickings for the promoters. ’