NOBODY MINDS THE POOR OLD COCKIE

Shannon News, 21 January 1927, Page 4

NOBODY MINDS THE POOR OLD COCKIE

Weeds and Wireless Wages and Workers A LIFE OF INSPECTION AND REGULATIONS As both Australia and New Zealand have been through the throes of an election, no one seems interested in the man on the land no matter what party is in power, and the cockie is just waking up and wants to know exactly how he stands, writes Carlton Hobbs in the “Whangarei Daily Times.’’ ' On the one side we have the Reform Party who tells us to be beware of the Socialist who intends to grab oil the land and apply the usehold tenure on all holdings up to £20,000 unimproved value. The Reform Party ridicule the idea and say everyone should have the freehold. The registered mortgage debt to £270,000,000 carrying an interest bill of £17,000,000, thus showing that the land seller or speculator has reaped what the farmer has sown. Some years ago, the writer intended to go in for farming, and was taken into the seventh heaven of advertising delight, by reading a land agent’s “ad." that would melt the lu>art of a miser and make him rush off to secure this valuable prize. It was very touching and with tears in its description—“here is a snip; 100 acres; only £4O per acre; it wintered 200 cows; an ideal dairy farm —just mills the cows, then the motor, then competence—only £SOO required; balance at 61 per cent, for six years, very easy terms.’’ Garden of Eden. We wanted to know from the agent if it-was the Garden of Eden we wer» buying. He took us to see it. Near the homestead was a splendid heap o! blackberries, and a couple of jam tin goats were busy eating the labels oft some of the tins, and the agent vouchsafed that, the goats were there t» keep down the blackberries. After , a thorough inspection wo wanted to know where the reef was, and hove many ounces to the ton did it go. He said it was not a mining proposition, but the late owner made a competence In 10 years; he was a good farmer. We agreed. But we wanted the agent to explain to us how we were going to make a competent like that and pay . land and income tax. and conform to the dairy regulations a id- other things that, are inflicted on the hard-wc%*king cocky, who has to be a tireless worker, and in the dairying line be confronted with the dairy regulations. He must have properly erected cowsheds, with concrete floors, and suitable washdown channels to carry away excrement; the wnlls must be continually whitewashed to keen down microbes everywhere, even on the dairy regula. 1 tions, /which must be nailed up in a . conspicuous place. This is all very fine and large, and the bewildered cocky wants to know wherp are the roads required to carry 1 out the appurtnanences that are en- 1 loined on the dairyman of the back ! blocks The milking of 30 to 50 cows, , I ' dnv in and day out. Sunday included, ; 1 from 4 o’clock in the mprning to the ' evening cow time at 4 o’clock, with other necessary farm work between the milks -this constitutes the cocky’B < ideal day. The next infection that 1 looms.o’er the landscape is the milk- 1 ’ Ing machine man, who expatiates on j ■ the charm and beauty of machine 1

milking. He represents the J.D.K.Z. milking machine, with the celebrated soothing pulsator, whose action reminds the cows its their calves extract ing the lacteal juice. This is what the dairyman has beet looking tor. He lias it installed; the shadow of the motor appears ori the horizon, dairy inspector enters into the picture, who informs you that you must enlarge your premises as per I regulations; you must have water laid on for flushing purposes, and copper built in for hot water; the engine and vacuum pump must be placed in ' a separate room with a concrete floor; the release and separator must be 1 placed in a separate room apart front everything, and even Strawberry musv ! not look at it. 1 The next apparition is the rabbit 1 inspector, who comes into the vision and enhances the beauty of the scenery, and who probably dreams of his future greatness, and has the dreamy eyes of the poet and makes one feel a longing to roar; — Oh. the dear little rabbits, So playful in their habits, I’m the inspector, that’s me. Tlie Rabbit Man. “You are the owner of this property, 1 presume?” I replied I was, “I have lately received orders to have all rabbits exterminated, “Well, have you delivered your ultimatum to the rabbits?” “No, sir, you must do that.” "Is your department going to do anything with those ticks on the horse you ride the sandflies and mosquitoes that are annoying you and welcoming you like a long-lost brother —try and get the political head of your department to give that matter his utmost consideration,” Then one chews the sweet and bitter cud of r flection; one mur murs, “Why did I ever become a far mor?” Why didn’t I join some of thi professions that to-day are fleecing the farmer? . . . They'five all doing well and many farmers are going bankrupt and some more were in great straits, and the firms financed them and the banks were never doing better than they are doing now—they are getting away with the loot. But this Is the age of exploitation Concerts For Cows. Then there came into the picture the listening-in wireless expert. He I told us with a smib that wis childlike- and bland the wonders ef wireloss and the great benefit to farmers tf a l0:jf speaker wis installed in the drawing-room. We could heai concerts in ’Frisco, Aussie, and the weird music of the Chinese fiddle in Canton, and if a loud-speaker were installed in the milking shed it would soothe the cows—especially if Parliamentary debates were broadcasted —and the cows would give more cream when the Right Hon. the Prime Minister told us about our glorious heritage, our loyalty and all the latest claptrap. We could urge upon the Government the necessity of using a transmitting set on the cows and bulls, and concentrated noise with receiving sets and loud-speakers along dangerous un- ■ lit portions of our coast would warn mariners of their dangerous proximity to the land. He could furnish us also with a set that would go in our waist- j coast and an aerial for the top of I our hat. Our daughter could carry j an aerial and set in her parasol, and j if her boy had a transmitting set, welt, • the advantages were enormous. We | decided to get one A'hen the weathei * broke. Then the inspector of noxious weeds came into the sunlight and pointed out we must eradicate all noxious I weeds such as gorse and blackberry; j' the department intended to prosecute ■ immediately, if not sooner, all and

sundry who did not keep their land in order by destroying all weeds. We asked, more in sorrow' than in anger, why was the Minister of Agriculture offering £50,000 to anyone who Invented a method of destroying these weeds, and Crown lands were just as bad. Politics His Only Rope. It was a pity the department was not more practical and make its Inspectors work at these jobs instead of talking about the cocky doing it. His row was hard enough to hoe. He was rooked every way. It is small wonder that the Bank of New Zealand can lend to the Government New Zealanders’ own money at 5i per cent., and then lift the moratorium on December 31. Then the 97 per cent, of the land-owners in both Islands who have monkeys to carry will be able to look "Uncle” in the face with a cheerful smile. But cocky is getting tired and failed In invading the political arena in search of seats, so as he can do something no one el»e ever '.ittempted in politics—to convert the Hot.je to his way of thinking. Viewing things from the outside is all very well. There are members there who think otherwise. The most exploits 1 person is the man on the land and he has to have cheap labour if he can, and boy labour if nothing else offers and nobody seems to notice him. So I will get an Australian poet, Ben Sun, to tell us of him in-verse herewith: — The soldier has his glory, and the sailor has his joy, And we’ve heard in song and story of the little cabin boy; The shearer’s mostly beering when he isn’t on the strike; And the worker is careering on -the time-extended bike: Their web of life they spia It on a fast but fevered plan; But for fun they aren’t in it with the cocky’s handy man!