WITH THE HUMORISTS.

Shannon News, 6 May 1924, Page 4

WITH THE HUMORISTS.

First Gunner —Don’t lire, Jim. You forgot to load your-gun! . . - Second Gunner— Maybe so; out gosh, the bird won’t wait. <s><s><s><?> Of Course, She (with newspaper)—Here’s another musical comedy girl young fellow who was just left a tor. tune. . jj e —x suppose those singers nat»»* ;dfv find it easy to pick up an heir. • <» <» <S> <s> Modest in Her Dcmaiul. .Lawyer—You want to ask £1000» ft. year alimony. How much is your husband making? . ~ Lady—£looo, but! I’m sure he could make more if he had to and I’m willing he should keep the difference. <s> <£ <s> ❖ Crazy. Reggie: "I'm just crazy when I am away from you.” Dolly: “Ah yes, out of sight, out of mind, you know." • <s> <$ <s> ♦ A “New” Jt>ke. Wife (at breakfast): "Could I htiA r e a little more money for shopping toddHusbund: "Certainly. Would you rather have an old fiver or a new one . Wife: "A new 011 c, of course. Husband: "Here’s the one ~ tt . n J, X -“ four dollars eo the good.”— -The Com ellian

<s><s> <3> Another Irish “Bull.” The archbishop had preached a fine sermon on the beauties of married life. Two old Irish women coming out of church were heard commenting upon his address. . <« >Tis a fine sermon his reverence would be after givin’.us,” said Bridget. ••It is indade.' replied Maggie, and I wish I knew as little about the matter as he docs.”— Tit-Bits. (London). $ <s> <S>. ♦ Thrills of Collegs Life.

Farmer—Well son, what are you doing up in that tree?. , Son —Just got a letter from the sophomores in correspondence school telling me to haze myself.—Lyre. <s> <3> <§>. Truthfulness Rewarded A Civil War veteran had spent a week at a New York hotel. When he went to pay his lull, the clerk asked: “What was your rank?” “I was a private,” the old soldier

replied.' ~ . “Well, I won’t charge you anything. You are the first private I have ever met.” —Judge. . _ <s,<s> <s><s> Proven Every Day.

The locomotive not only has the right of way, but can always prove it. —Detroit;Motor News.. , r '