WANTED A GOVERNOR!

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2976, 9 October 1882, Page 3

WANTED A GOVERNOR!

The prolonged absence of His Excellency the Governor has elicited humorous comment from “ Public Opinion’s” Wellington contributor, Paddy Murphy, who writes as follows:

We’ve niver had a gin nine, Go vernor ■here since tlm Markias an’, his aid-to-kong. Pit O’Rell, left, so wo hadp’t. Some people does be'thinkin’ that av we stuffed up an artyfishal figger with sawdust (like ono o’ the Aggers we hear about at Madame Tussawed’s) an’ s tbuek it up on a throne in Government House it would answer ivery purpose, tin’ save siven thousand five hundred 1 a year to the eountbry. Whin me collaiges return I’m goin’ to suggest . that the followin’ advertisement should be inserted in the London papers :

Wanted a Governor 1 noble and bonld,

A boy who will plaize us, an do what he’s

tould ; ' ■ ■ ■ He must be a Knight av he isn’t a Peer,

His screw is sivin thousand five hundred a year.

Wanted a Governor, ready to wink (Pie hasn’t the slightest occasion to think) At all little jobs that we work on the sly, A ginfc who will not ax the wherefore or why.

Wanted a Governor, polished an’.bland, Who has no idays about people on land;: Who thinks all the common folk vulgar an’ low, An’looks upon thraders as only so-so.

Wanted a Governor, full o’ fine airs—(He’ll not be disturbed by political cares) His duty will be to give parties so fine, An’ as-our supporthers an’ us out to dine. Wanted a ruler to answer aitch call, To act as a vice raygul dummy thar.’s all; He’s only required to sign ivery Act, He doesn’t need brains av be only has tact.