SATURDAY GOSSIP.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2945, 2 September 1882, Page 2

SATURDAY GOSSIP.

The parsons will perpetually rush at the red rags of science. The; Rev. J. Blmslie objects to the theory that the moral history of our race is a continuous development of the physical and material history of the globe. Is this so very disquieting a doctrine, reverend father? Whether or no, it is a doctrine that is gaining proselytes very fast, and it opens the door to some very pretty argument.

The theory of homicidal mania has received some confirmation in the attempts at assassination made by the two O’Farrells. I remember when the Duke of Edinburgh was fired at, a good many people in Australia chose to regard the deed as emanating from disaffection to the British throne, and H. J. as the agent of a secret society. M ore thought* ful people, however, took another view of the matter. Perhaps the poor wretch’s mind was heated with national sympathies, but he was certainly never authorised to do that wretched deed. And when his relation shoots at an Archbishop of bis own Church, I think it is pretty clear that this family has an alarming quantity of homicidal mania in its blood.

Horsewhipping had almost gone out of date till Mr Fitchett revived it so pleasantly on the person of Mr Basil Sievwright, a brother lawyer, the other day, in Dunedin. X fancy Mr Fitchett’s code would make him rather a'dangerons adviser to an injured individual. Why didn’t Mr Fitchett take a lesson, or two from the renowned Jem Mace? Then be might have had the doable satisfac-. tion of revenging himself, and ad* vertising the merits of a deserving {mgilisl. Mr Fitchett ought to have ived in the iron or stone age—the age of brass is now going on. I once witnessed a horse*wbipping case, a good many years ago, in which the horse* wbipper came off second beat, and he was about 18 inches taller than his victim, too! The Fitcbetts are not to be trifled with—-either the parson or the lawyer.

I am in hopes that tbe cricketing craze is expiring in a blaze of glory. We have heard, almost ad nauseam, of Australian victories at Home, and the last news has capped the whole record. Now for the apotheosis of the trinmphant eleven, and then, let the curtain drop for a season t

“ Is a groom essential to a gentleman’s comfort It was said in Court yesterday that a gentleman had made an assertion to that effect. How is it to be taken ? As an unqualified assertion, I am disposed to deny its truth. The luxury is not essential to the corn* fort of a person, merely because that person happens to be . a gentleman. A gentleman will generally be found to have a greater power of living economically than anybody else, when it comes to the pinch, and he will be found able to endure more hardship. He does not always do so. On the contrary a geat many gentlemen are natural born spendthrifts, and ne’er-do-weels. But for display, I back your cad against your gentleman, any day. The parvenus go in for gold lace and hammer-cloths and buttons ; the “ rale quid blood ’’ for claret color and plain livery. Pock.