SATURDAY GOSSIP.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2868, 3 June 1882, Page 2

SATURDAY GOSSIP.

Ne sulor ultra crepidam. Mr W. M Green as pastor was a great success. Mr W. M. Green as senator, is clearly not a success. Dunedin supplies the House, this session, with blister and plaster, a scarifyer, and a healing ointment. Mr Fish will touch them on the raw, pretty often. That is his special mission. But the amiable and oleaginous Green will be at hand with an unguent of sweet words, and a drowsy lullaby ; Mr Bracken filling up the intervals with pathos and sentiment. Get thee back to the pulpit W. M. Take friendly advice!

That proposition of the fertile Pyke is rough on some hon. members. He proposes that “ members desiring their speeches to bo reported in Hansard, shall defray the cost of the same out of their honorarium.” I am afraid there would’nt be credit balance enough left some of them to pay steamer fare home. There would be a conflict of feelings. If it were myself I should be horrified to think my eloquence was not to be handed down to posterity. On the other hand, I should object to pay for the privilege.

Was it by accident or design that Mr Green, in his pathetic description of the overworked, when advocating his Eight Hours Bill, omitted all reference to the drapery salesmen, who were the most strenuous advocates of the Bill ? It was too bad. Artisans,, engine drivers, and all sorts of people’s wrongs were dilated upon, but no word fell from Mr Green about the pale faced counterjumpers. Oh ! Green, Green f Ingratitude is sharper than a serpent’s tooth, and these men loved you.

The movement in Christchurch to form a “ society for the prevention of cruelty to animals ” is praiseworthy and much needed. It is surprising to find cases such as the society seeks to deal with constantly occurring. It frightens one to reflect upon the leaven of savagery there is still in humanity. I have a strong belief that he who is cruel to dumb animals would, but ffor bis fears, treat his follow creatures in precisely the same manner. The brute who would unmercifully thrash a horse, or dog, or mutilate an animal,would have no scruple in kicking his wife or maltreating his children. Ho is a man to beware of, and when convicted, to bo severely dealt with. Success to the society.

A story is going about, which, though it may have odour of sanctity, has the flavor of something else about it. A well-known lady revivalist, lately stated on a public platform in one of our cities, that at the time of the Timaru disaster, one of the poor fellows (who was afterwards drowned) was heard to exclaim’ while in the water—- “ Tell Mrs Hampson it's all right.” It is very strange that we should got this story from another part of the colony, and that it was never before mentioned here. Seriously, dear reader, whatever persuasion or opinion may be yours, I will ask whether you think this sort of thing, this padding of inventions, is quite in keeping with the gospel ; and what you think of an attempt to make capital out of so sad a catastrophe as we have experienced ? To me it is revolting. This loss of life that we mourn, has smitten us down, mute. It carries its own weighty lessons. A time of silence and meditation has succeeded to the wild excitement of the calamity; and the obtrusive voice that screeches forth such lies as this, we all feel to be discordant and unpleasing.

My friend the “Tablet” holds a a similar opinion of Sir Samuel Wilson as Ido myself. (It is Sir Samuel not Sir Daniel; hisJeames would go into convulsions if you were to miscall “ Sir Samuel.”) Hoar my sarcastic friend :

“ By the way, have not the colonies as yet thought of putting in their claim to that umbrella employed by Master Wilson, son of Sir Daniel Wilson, in pommelling McLean, to which the Hughenden Church owes its adornment of the monumental window? The umbrella should be laid up as a public heirloom.” The thought of that magnificent snob who is now the Lord of Hughenden puts me into a passion. His memorial windows, and his vulgar obtrusion, and his brand-new style irritate one. Will you honor the peerage of England, Sir Samuel, by accepting a ducal coronet ? Why don’t you set up a corps of gentlemen body guards ? I should like to see you reposing under your “ perfumed canopies of costly state,” or rising impressively from between the blankets while your illustrious breeches are held respectfully near the bedside. Venus rising from the sea! Pooh! she was a fool to Sir Samuel. And this man sits where Boaconsfield sat! That place should have been national property out of the reach of parvenus,

A good little joke comes to mo. A veteran naval commander, not a hundred miles from Timaru, was dia coursing with some persons about harbor business and ho asked “ was there a life boat crew ?” To which some one answered that “there was no regular crew.’' “ Humph! may’ be as you say, Sir, but there’s a Life* Boat Lodge in the place, for IVo seen the name often. What the d 1 were they about ?” I refer the question to my friends of the 1.0.Gr.T. for reply. Puck.