MISCELLANEOUS.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2688, 31 October 1881, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

The latest thing in boots.—Holes. Never cry over spilt milk. There is enough water jn it already. Lukens says he muzzles his beer glass as soon it begins to froth at the mouth.

When the Arab has stolen everything else in sight, he quietly folds his tent and steals away. Male flies are said to be smaller than the female flies, but as the male fly doesn’t carry a cane and smoke cigarettes, a majority of people can’t tell one from the other.

The only form of oath among the Shoshone Indians is, “ The earth hears me; the sun hears me; shall I lie?” And then the Big Chief does lie with double-barrelled mendacity. This is the season of the year when the small hoy goeth to the barber and winbeth at him and sayeth ; “ Cut off the ends of my hair.” And behold, the barber cutteth off the hair and leaveth the ends. A drunken man at buffalo “ fooled ” with the machinery of an electric light generator, and was picked up dead. Fully a dozen men have been killed about electric lights during the past year.

In one of the latest dated newspapers devoted to fashion we learn that ladies are going to wear their hair, this season, just as they did 150 years ago. We had no idea there were sucli old ladies about, and if there were, we don’t believe one of them would own to it.

Cetewayo costs the British nation £9O a month, or more than £IOOO a year, for his board alone. Already he lias cost ns on this head nearly £I7OO. The South African colonists, who made the war upon him, ought to pay for him, and have been asked to do their duty ; but no arrangement can be made about the money, and Parliament will hare to pay the captive chief’s heavy bills. Nor is it mere maintenance that is asked for. The farm upon which he has been placed, the house in which he resides, the stock by which himself and his wives and followers ars supplied, will have to be paid for from British pockets, making a total of nearly £4,500. A correspondent of a southern contemporary thus lock-up of the early days of the diggings : —“ In those antediluvian times the Camp was really a camp—the gaol being a 6xß tent. On one occasion a more than usually obstreperous “drunk” was run in, and handcuffed by one hand to the pole of the tent. He slept the sleepthat follows unlimited whiskey, and awoke with the quenchless thirst that is an equal consequence of the indulgence. No charitable soul hove in sight, and at last, in desperation, he shouldered the lock up and marched to the nearest pub, bearing the gaol upon his back. He was duly administered to, and returned to durance with his load.”