PUT HER BACK.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2495, 19 March 1881, Page 4

PUT HER BACK.

The Mudborrow elders had a big spire on their meeting house, and on that spire a copper weathercock. Any change of wind under a gale this weathercock refused to indicate, therefore the Mudborrow elders advertised in the paper for tenders to take down, clean, and oil the Mudborrow weathercock. When the tenders were opened several tradesmen ran c105e,420 dollars, 430 dollars, and so on, up to 500 dollars, but Helicon Cobdashers document signified his willingness to carry out the work named for 302 dollars. Helicon was a good workman, and his tender was unanimously accepted, through the lowness of the amount and the two dollars extra gave Mudborrow worthies cause for much wonderment. Helican erected his scaffold, got down the weathercock, polished and oiled it up equel to new, and sent it up to the preacher’s house in a barrow, Down came the parson to Helicon, “ What do you mean by sending the weathercock to my house Mr. Cobdasher?” “Waal, pason, I‘.thought yu mot want en now he’s sorter shined up a bit. Look, fetebin’ in the best windy room, pason.” “But, my good man, we require it replaced.” “Oh 1 Think of h’isting her thar agin du yu.” “Of course we do I Why, man, cap you be such an idiot as to imagine we want to keep it down here?” “ Dont get vilent, pason. You may get sum fixins on hand about as useful, but a darned site more expensiv’ to keep.” “We expect you to replace that weathercock Mr Cobdasher.” “ Kan’t say as I bankers much of the job. I’am busy about teown for a week or two.” “ Unheard of impertinence! We shall compel you under the contract, sir, to replace it immediately ?” “ yaas, you may go your bottom Piece you don’t ?” I tendered tu git that ugly copper cuss down hyar,and clean an’ ile her arter she was hyar, but I reckon all the ink spilt on that contract don’t h’ist her a foot back agin, anyhow !” The preacher and elders met in solemn conclave ( several deacons coaled, cajoled, raved and stormed at Helicon for a week, but it was of no avail. Helicon told them on their last interview—“ It’s no tarnal use yewr roarin’ aroun’ hyar, gen’leman, 250 dols. more, an’ in tew days from now' that copper-cropped rooster rests on the end of that spire in sekoority.” “If we are compelled to pay to get it up,” another tradesman shall do Ifc not you bellowed deacon Smitthers, '■ Sartinly lif yew wish, gen’leman. I’ll jist git my scafold away to give em room. “ Jonas, put the critter in the shebang, ’an four or five of you lads go down an shove them sticks off the spire direc’ly, an’—” My dear Mr Cobdasher, how can anyone get np there without your scaffold ?” “ Oh, it ain’t no trouble, bless yer. Jest stick up one o’ thar own 1"“ Confusion! that will cost as much as their original tender for the whole. Oh dear, dear! Properly refix that weathercock. Cobdasher, and the 250 dols. are yours," “ K’rect, deacon. Write out the order thar. thankyp gen’leman. that’s a splendid bird o’ your’s, you bet, Jt’s a credit to the place, and a bit of a debit to the supporters of the church, but it’s a fine bird. Good day gen’leman. “Jonas, the first hand, nudged Helicon after the “ gen’l - men ” left, and whispered, “ Say, boss, what was that odd two dollars stuck on the first tender for ! ” “ Tew cover the drinks I’m boun’ to stan’ when this gits loose. Let’s git two on account, Jonas.”